"You can grieve who you thought she was," He says. His throat goes tight, voice a little rougher than he wants. He doesn't want to think of Ernesto now. This isn't the time and place for his petty little loss. But sometimes, some of this...

"You can grieve what you lost, what you hoped for," He goes on. "You make a space for someone in your life, worse when you cut pieces of yourself to do it, trying to fit them, to make them happy... it's going to hurt when that space is empty. It doesn't matter if that person was... terrible for you. Or to you. You still made that space. You held all those things you dreamt for each other and felt. You can't stop wanting that person you believed in to be real because it's- ha, it's impossible to stop wanting to heal." Human nature. Even when they weren't all human anymore.

"Once you... see them again and things get confirmed or... once she's gone... that's it. There's no more hoping for things to change even with that small stupid part of you." He can't meet Avery's eyes. "But if you shut up that stupid little part then you're never going to give anyone another chance. I know you'll think it's safer that way, but I'll ask you again; please, however long you have to take, even if its ages, don't shut us all out for good when this is over. Don't- don't shut me out. I really don't want to lose another friend."