[ leo doesn't take away his eyes from val's. he... really wasn't expecting to get the full breadth of his teacher's own experiences. his thumbs tap together, and the words are a jumble in his mind. but all he can do is let it out, as he's gone and instigated this conversation to begin with. where it takes them, who knows. ]
I don't even know if I can say I have the experience of either a fey or human, to be honest. So it's... I can't feel fully welcome with either. But I don't know, I am a turtle-ish thing, so... do I need to have a few centuries to figure myself out too? Except, I can't, the world's ending soon.
[ it comes out in a hiss, but leo's voice goes solemn as he goes on. ]
I spend the first sixteen years of my life underground, irregularly running from Hunters, in a human city that my own turned Dad chooses not to return to, because of us, his adoptive kids. I've always thought about how he must miss it; what life would be like if he'd never gotten involved with Outlands things. Or if we were just "normal". I've thought about being human more often, since that's what I grew up surrounded by. And what if he didn't take us: A master I was supposed to have? Maybe that would've been better given the current situation, I don't even know. I at least would've had someone straight-up tell me what I was meant to do instead of just "survive". --Though I probably wouldn't have listened, if teenage rebellion's common in all species.
When I got sent here, it didn't feel real. It still doesn't. Most people will glance then look away. Some actually extend a warm greeting. But it's weird, so I don't stay. I get to sleep knowing I'll be able to eat tomorrow. I wake up at my own time instead of shaken that someone's almost found us. But I'm just wasting most everyone's space and time, and I'm not saying that for pity, since I'm kinda doing it on purpose. Fey have unpredictable powers and are "naturally chaotic", so what's the point of pretending I'm not?
It's not like you choose to do things to be appreciated, but... maybe I don't want to save the world, because I don't know if I belong here or anywhere. My family was enough, but we couldn't even just exist and be left alone.
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I don't even know if I can say I have the experience of either a fey or human, to be honest. So it's... I can't feel fully welcome with either. But I don't know, I am a turtle-ish thing, so... do I need to have a few centuries to figure myself out too? Except, I can't, the world's ending soon.
[ it comes out in a hiss, but leo's voice goes solemn as he goes on. ]
I spend the first sixteen years of my life underground, irregularly running from Hunters, in a human city that my own turned Dad chooses not to return to, because of us, his adoptive kids. I've always thought about how he must miss it; what life would be like if he'd never gotten involved with Outlands things. Or if we were just "normal". I've thought about being human more often, since that's what I grew up surrounded by. And what if he didn't take us: A master I was supposed to have? Maybe that would've been better given the current situation, I don't even know. I at least would've had someone straight-up tell me what I was meant to do instead of just "survive". --Though I probably wouldn't have listened, if teenage rebellion's common in all species.
When I got sent here, it didn't feel real. It still doesn't. Most people will glance then look away. Some actually extend a warm greeting. But it's weird, so I don't stay. I get to sleep knowing I'll be able to eat tomorrow. I wake up at my own time instead of shaken that someone's almost found us. But I'm just wasting most everyone's space and time, and I'm not saying that for pity, since I'm kinda doing it on purpose. Fey have unpredictable powers and are "naturally chaotic", so what's the point of pretending I'm not?
It's not like you choose to do things to be appreciated, but... maybe I don't want to save the world, because I don't know if I belong here or anywhere. My family was enough, but we couldn't even just exist and be left alone.