Almost Forgot

[lastexit]

Who: Maya, Imelda, Maya's baggage (Open Prompt to be Added Later)
What: Hollow Plot
When: On a day... where there are classes? After the "Several Bones to Pick" mission.
Where: On the Grounds of the School. Keeping it vague.
Warnings: Depression and Suicide will both come up in the main thread. And possibly in the aftermath, depending where Maya is then.

Note: Once the main thread has some traction I'll link to a prompt in this log for Maya after things have happened. Depending on how much of a mess Maya is.

Hollow Hearts - Closed

Maya's classes were fairly mundane today. She didn't have her control class about manipulating her silence, nor the class for sensitives so she can manipulate and control her Hearing. Days like this she almost felt like this was a normal school.

Except for the constant noise of everyone else's magic, and the fact it was all in French. You know, those things made her remember it was all nonsense and magic.

She was heading toward the cafeteria, toward getting food, when she heard it. An impossible sound. A sound she couldn't hear, not ever again. It made her think of cheering crowds, and frozen rinks. But it was softer, sadder than the excitement of a Hockey game. Lamenting the festivities as much as being at the center. The notes not quite right, due to the sort of sound equipment an ice rink would have.

But there were other notes in the sound, she remembered those notes from the Catacombs in Paris. The sounds she put a name to. A sound of death in her mind...

She whipped around in place, looking for where the sound was coming from. It was moving, too fast. Behind a building? Was she actually insane now? She- she can't hear that sound.

She can't hear him.

Maya's not walking toward the cafeteria anymore, she looks- lost. Lost and alone. Like the whole world was melted away by whatever she was hearing.

Going into Town + Hog's Swill (Open)

Maya didn't even bother changing from her uniform before heading into town. She didn't want to bother trying to avoid people seeing her. Just leave, just run, just get some space. No guitar, no cello, just her and her books in the middle of a day in a dive bar. She ordered some cheap beer, a water, and some greasy bad-for-you pub grub.

She needed space, not to forget him, but to remember herself. That's how it always went, when she thought about him, wasn't it?

Heading back from Town + Lumiere Dorm (Open)

Eventually, still buzzed, Maya made her way back to the dorm. She'll deal with the classes she ditched later. She'll deal with the friends she didn't see later. For now she wanted to... do something.

She wasn't sure if it was 'avoid people and wait until tomorrow,' maybe 'sleep three days until it stops hurting,' or how about 'find an adventure and forget.' She was too tipsy to work on music and it's awkward to start bawling while playing a cello so she just lazed around in the Floor 1 common room waiting for something to happen. Or to sleep.

Comments

[lastexit]

"Yes. Yes. No idea. It's complicated."

It takes Maya a few moments longer to realize Peter stopped, she sighs, turns to look at him. She said it because it was true, and she forgot it'd lead to a conversation. "Look, Peter, you're really sweet and I don't wanna lie to you. So... please be okay if I don't tell you everything? I reserve the right to not answer questions."

She'd eventually have to tell him, and other people, all the things about her past. It was right, to tell them. But she had to be ready, and she just wasn't.

[made_up_names]

He's already full to bursting with questions; it takes all his self control to keep them all from spilling out of his mouth. Look at how much he values their friendship, Maya. He's taking a bullet for you here.

"Okay," he says after a moment. "I can respect that. Yeah." A pause. "But you have to tell me if you're okay or not."

[lastexit]

Oh, starting with a tough question, big and small. And honest wasn't what Maya wanted to be right now. But, "No. Just seeing him again hurt, it was everything I never wanted to feel again. But I'll be okay eventually."

She had to cling onto that idea. 'I'll be okay eventually.' No matter how fake it felt. Which is why today's answer was 'get drunk.' "I don't know all the details. I didn't know what the sounds meant, or that they were real. I was too young for any of this shit. Cam was sick, he was depressed, but there was also a daemon trying to make it worse. It's-"

Maya paused, trying find just the right way to phrase this, "Do you have a day that just goes round and round in your head as you try to figure out what you could do to fix it?"

[made_up_names]

Look. He needed to get one tough question out of her. And if her dead boyfriend showed up and tried to hurt her? Then he's guessing she's definitely not okay.

He falls into step next to her, quiet for a moment. Listening. No wonder she'd been so upset about Kano and Toki; she must have been thinking of Cam when they'd jumped. "Yeah," he says," bowing his head a little. "Yeah, I've got a day like that. My uncle died about seven months ago."

[lastexit]

"I'm guessing it was something supernatural and weird, not just- heart disease or something." You don't become a superhero by being normal. You don't end up here by being normal. Both of those happen when the world is unfair, and you have to fix it.

"And to make all that worse, Ms. Rivera was the one who saved me, that was fun." For some reason Maya's voice didn't sound sincere when it came to how fun it was.

[made_up_names]

Yeah no. Peter has given a lot of explanations since coming here; he decides to go with a version relatively close to the truth. "I stayed out late. When I came back, the lycan had just killed him." That communicates the answer to her question well enough: a day he'd give anything to change. The implication of guilt without flat out confessing to killing his uncle.

Deep breaths. He jolts a bit when she mentions Imelda. "She did?" he asks, not. Completely surprised? He and Imelda have made peace with each other by now, but he's also pretty sure Maya hasn't. "Is she okay? Are you okay?"

[lastexit]

Maya's not really sure where to put the focus after that, try to ask for more. No, no she hated those questions. Maybe just- try to help, in what little way she can. "It- it stops haunting you all the time after a few years. It's still there, and still haunts you. But you get days where you almost forget."

Yeah, totally helping Maya.

"She has a monster cat bird thing. Whatever is wrong with Cam, he's still..." the boy I love. Maya decides to just let that thought die, not even try to find another way to end it. And just change the subject. "She's fine. Cold, unfeeling, and can't see past herself. But fine."

[made_up_names]

In a couple years, huh? He's not sure that's comforting; he's not sure he wants to forget. But the idea that it might hurt less is ... better?

Anyway.

"At least she helped you," he says. "Was he trying to hurt you?"

He's assuming that's the case.

[lastexit]

"I needed... time, to wrap my head around hearing him again. So it was good someone was there, but..." Maybe it'd have been better if it was someone else. Maya shook her head, she'll take what happened. "He was trying to kill me because he thought I'd be happier that way."

"Yeah, yeah, that's really messed up. I get it." She was tired of people getting angry at him, jumping into a thing they didn't get. "He killed himself cause he thought it was better for me."

[made_up_names]

If this were after Ben, he'd find that painfully familiar. As it is he just winces. "It is pretty messed up," he says. "But - it was really him, right?"

Distorted but himself. Ish.

[lastexit]

"It was. I could feel it, it was his sound. I couldn't forget that if I wanted to."

It was him, whatever twisted in on itself was around him. The real him, buried under pain and... something else. There but not something she could name. "So yeah, that was my day. I skipped class after the teachers took custody of him. To get really drunk."

[made_up_names]

He's quiet for a moment. Trying to figure out the best way to word it. "And that's when he hurt himself?" he murmurs. "After you skipped class?"

[lastexit]

"No, that was today. When I was thirteen I was a good kid. Never skipped class, got all my homework in on time. He- he broke up with me via text, stood me up at lunch. They found him the next morning."

The drinking, skipping class, all that? That was Maya after, the ripple to the stone thrown into her life. What she became.

[made_up_names]

Oh. That - okay, makes a little more sense? Less of a reason for Maya to blame herself, which he's relieved about, frankly.

"I'm sorry," he says after a moment. Quiet. "And I know sorry isn't enough. When someone you love is just - gone."

He knows that feeling too well.

[lastexit]

"I could hear a sound, a wrong sound, for months. I knew something was wrong, he'd hurt himself before and I just- I couldn't see it." There are so many excuses, so many things others told her about that night. That day, those months. But to her, it'll always be 'I couldn't see it.'

"...Thanks, it doesn't really change things. But Thanks." She's never been good with this part, people trying to feel sorry for her.

[made_up_names]

Sorry, Maya. At least he completely understands how useless other people's feelings are. All the pity in the world couldn't bring Ben back. There were days he was kind of furious with all the people trying to say kind things.

So he'll try to stick to helpful things, maybe. Productive things. "There's weird stuff about me you don't recognize, right?" he says. "I don't think it's your fault for not realizing what it is you're hearing. Especially if you've never heard it before."

[lastexit]

"It- Demon sound is different. It's- even without knowing what made it, I knew it was bad. It's the kind of sound that makes a cold chill run up your spine."

You don't miss that sort of feeling, it's pretty clear what it is. Maya just didn't know it was real, she thought it was all in her head. "What you have is just- magic, I just dunno what it is. And it's kinda echoy cause I'm a little bit drunk still."

[made_up_names]

Well okay, he can kind of see that. But - would he have done any differently himself? He really doesn't think so. Easy to say from this vantage point, maybe...

"Good to know I'm not secretly a daemon," he says, trying to lighten the mood a little. "I'd be pretty surprised by that." A beat. "Maybe I'm actually a spider who thinks he's a human."

[lastexit]

"Kinda handsome for a spider, you also don't have nearly enough butt for one." She accents the statement by checking his out. Because Maya's still not sober.

"I'll figure out what I can't figure out. Eventually."

[made_up_names]

Oh. That's. New. He does have quite a nice butt honestly. Superheroic toning and all.

He just sort of stares at her for a moment, totally losing where they were in the conversation. "I - uh - thanks?" For not saying he has a spider butt??

[lastexit]

Maya giggles, and smiles. Two things very uncommon to her.

"Relax, I'm teasing. Harmless fun. I like you but I'm way too much of a disaster to do more." Maya's smile turned a bit weary after that. Being aware she was a mess was the thing that made her able to keep going. Knowing how much she wasn't okay and how little she could fix. She needed time.

And teasing boys who have no idea how good they look is fun. She could also just enjoy that.

[made_up_names]

It's super weird and he's not sure he likes it? Nice to see her happy, but. he's also pretty sure that's the alcohol talking. But if she enjoys teasing him that's something at least.

"You're not a disaster," he says. "I think you're doing the best you can."