daybreakacademy | Three for the price of one

Entry tags:

Three for the price of one

Who: Zagreus, you, and a VERY good boy
What: Cerberus escapes the underworld to find Zagreus because he misses him, makes a mess
When: Early December
Where: Daybreak Academy
Warnings: Comic Mischief

-1-

Zagreus had made it to the surface and said good riddance to the gloomy darkness of the underworld, but there were SOME things that he missed. He missed Orpheus' music, he missed Eurydice's cooking, he missed Achilles' bottomless well of good advice, he missed smashing Perseus' perfect teeth into his smug face...Also he missed his dog.

And apparently his dog missed him, because Cerberus, guardian of the gates of Hades, the massive, bright red, three headed hound who stood twenty feet at the shoulder, had somehow found his way to the surface somewhere near Soleil, and was now rooting around the school grounds, looking for the wayward prince. He broke the odd window as he tried to poke his nose into rooms, dug up flower beds, drank from the fountains, chased after people (with only friendly intentions but it was still SUPER intimidating), howled, and generally was making the kind of mess that only a fifty foot long three headed dog can make.

-2-

"Come on boy! Come back!"

Zagreus had had some good quality dog time with his old friend, but he couldn't keep him up here. Aside from the rather large amount of property damage he had made during his first foray to the surface world in seven hundred years, Cerberus also had an important job to do guarding the entrance to the underworld.

Which was why, in hopes of somehow containing the dog so he could send him back, Zagreus was chasing after him with a MASSIVE chain he had liberated from the Anvil of Hadur in one hand and an enormous slab of steak in the other.

"No! No we do NOT climb on top of the library! Get down from there before you collapse the roof! Come on! I brought steak!"

Cerberus could eat a steak five times this size in one bite with ease, but steak was steak and dogs are dogs.

-3-

A massive shimmering portal was somehow being projected into a nearby convenient mountainside, within which could be seen the gloomy darkness of Tartarus. Cerberus was sulking while Zagreus talked to someone else on the other side. It was hard to make out a lot of details in the darkness, but he looked to have red glowing eyes and stand at easily ten feet tall.

"About bloody time you caught him, boy! Even when you're gone, you still manage to make a mess of everything you touch. Don't know why I ever put up with you..."

The scorn rolled off of him like water off a duck. He wasn't even looking at him, he was looking at Cerberus. "Yes, you're welcome, Father. Good to see you too. Let's chat again in another hundred years."

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Even if she didn't have a supernaturally good sense for vibrations, the incredibly large dog treating the Academy as its new playground isn't hard to miss. It's the exact opposite, in fact.

"I can get him down much faster," she says, after a moment, arms crossed as she stares calculatingly up at Cerberus perched on the building's roof.

And because it's Zagreus, she almost begrudgingly offers, "if you'd prefer."

Edited 2019-12-05 08:32 (UTC)

"I've got it. He's never said no to a nice treat before."

He held the steak out invitingly, and Cerberus took one pay off of the building. "Granted, a satyr sack would probably work better, but what kind of dog doesn't want a steak?"

Hornet just sighs and watches. She could probably do something to make this go faster, but she's bound by the tenuous social propriety of letting someone she knows handle it, which isn't really her type of thing.

"He feeds on satyrs?" She assumes the 'sack' is some kind of organ. It usually is.

"Mainly he feeds on people who seek to cheat death, but the satyrs makes these sacks, you see? I don't know what's in them and I don't WANT to know, but Cerberus loves them."

Cerberus reluctantly got off the building and padded over towards Zagreus. He wanted to keep exploring this strange bright place but Zagreus had sounded very definite about getting down, and also he had MEAT so that needed to be investigated.

She doesn't have a lot of experience with pets; she's not really the type of person to seek out animal companionship (or, really, companionship at all). She might have fed or bandaged the occasional stray, but it was never something done out of a desire for affection; more of a sense of duty.

"I see."

She just watches, silently, as Cerberus finally gets down from the roof. This is much more Zagreus' area than hers, in more ways than one; she can acknowledge that.

And here comes the awfully big dog. Right in front of them. The middle head accepted the steak treat while the right head gave a big doggy grin at Zagreus and the left head sniffed at Hornet curiously. He hadn't seen her in a long time, but she still smelled vaguely familiar so she was probably okay. Zagreus patted the head munching the steak on the snout. "There's a good boy."

[Although the concept of three headed dogs was not particularly new; in fact, Emizel has probably heard the mention of Cerberus himself many times; that was something only really found in underworlds and not exactly in broad daylight on Earth. Or well, they could be found there too but something must have gone horribly wrong for that to happen. Or something large at any rate.]

[Speaking of large, that is exactly what Emizel found when he opened the door leading outside. Greeted by one of the dog heads forcing its way in.] Wah?!

[Try as he might, there's not much the tiny daemon can do either to shut the door again with a massive muzzle in the way. It's also making the whole room smell like dog breath that might take forever to go away.]

[Cerberus sniffed and the tiny person in the room. They smelled...KIND of familiar? No, he decided, this was a new person, although something about his scent reminded him of master Thanatos.

Cerberus lay the head poking into the room on the floor and let out a little whine, while the other two kept looking around for master Zagreus outside.]

[Well...he's not trying to break in, at least. That's a relief, last thing Emizel need was the building to collapse on him. But the Cerberus does seem almost upset about something. Nor seems to have any inkling of leaving, which is causing it's own set of problems.]

How did you get here...? [Or rather, how has he managed to avoid the school sentry. Surely they must be aware. A giant dog is hard to miss.]

[Cerberus looked expectantly at Emizel, as if expecting him to do something. Despite being a magical creature that was unimaginably old and vastly powerful, he was still basically a dog and could not actually speak, but Thanatos knew secret spots behind his ears that needed scratching.

And Emizel had a similar scent of death about him, so maybe he would know about them too.]

Edited 2019-12-07 07:03 (UTC)

[As the great, ancient, legendary doggo stared at the bitty reaper, the bitty reaper stared back.] ...What are ya looking at me for?!

[Now ain't the time for scritches either! He does though, fall and lands on top of the dog's nose when trying to push the head out of the door. He already knew this was going to be a fruitless attempt if Cerberus wasn't going to move on his own.]

You gotta get out of here before someone finds you.

[...Like, it was probably already too late, but, still.]

Edited 2019-12-08 04:30 (UTC)

[A disappointed whine. This death incarnation was much less fun than the one he knew.

Eventually the dog did pull its head out of the room, though. It wasn't very comfortable, and there wasn't anything especially interesting in there. A person who WON'T give him pets? What's the POINT?]

[Oh. He's listening now! He's--wait a minute.]

[Unfortunately for Emizel, he was still on Cerberus' head while he was getting it out of the door, and held on for dear life. And as soon as he was several feet in the air there was still nothing that made him want to let go.]

[What he can do though is...maybe climb towards the neck where he can hang on a little easier. This is fine? This is probably fine?? He can probably figure out some way to get down from here.]

[But he was in prime head scratching territory, now.]

[Cerberus seemed content to let Emizel ride him as he got back to to continue searching the campus for his missing friend.]

[Yup, this is just where Emizel is right now in life and everything.]

[...And maybe Cerberus was not really in as much danger as he thought because no one has still tried to come after him yet. So ??? That's kind of cool. And even if someone does something now, there's nothing to worry because Emizel's got his back. ...Literally. Kinda.]

[Yeah...yeah. This big dog wasn't so bad after all. Maybe it does deserve some scratches behind the neck. ...One of the necks. If he can even reach that far.]

[He tried.]

Holy shit.

[Jail looks at the giant dog face currently sniffing curiously at her. Looks at the two other, equally large heads.]

[And grins in total delight.]

Who's a good boys, huh? Is it you? I just fucking bet it's you.

[THREE TIMES THE PUPPY. DAY: MADE.]

[Cerberus barked happily, which was VERY loud, and then sniffed at Jailbreak with all three heads. Friend?]

[There's definitely snacks in her pockets somewhere, but a lot of things could be in Jail's pockets somewhere, given her... creative approach to storage space. Whether Cerberus can smell anything in particular is a question that's going to have to be answered by sharper noses than a mere human's.]

[She reaches out with one hand carefully, giving the dog time to pull back if he has any objections, and starts gently scratching the nearest head behind the ears.]

[Frowning thoughtfully, she pulls out her phone with the hand that isn't busy with headscritches.]

Hey, Sirisn't, can I feed a dog Cheetos?

[With a vaguely disgruntled-sounding beep, her bootleg "digital personal assistant" replies in a completely emotionless recorded voice:]

How the fuck should I know. Do your own Google search. You absolute cockwaffle.

[Judging by Jail's expression, this is... apparently the intended function?] Man, that gets funnier every time.

[A huge tongue lolled out of the mouth of the head getting scratched while the other two wait their turns or looked around. The middle head, which was watching Jailbreak quizzically, tilted slightly at the noises she was making. He was a very bright dog and honestly could understand a lot more of human speech than a normal dog could, but Jailbreak's strange sense of humor was still beyond him.]

[To be fair to Cerberus, a lot of humans think she's pretty confusing, too.]

[Still happily scritching the closest set of ears, she uses her free hand to pull a back of cheesy snacks out of her pocket and tear it open.]

Who's hungry~?

What the-?!

[Weiss is somewhat confused right now. There is a giant three headed dog (dogs?) just running around and sticking it's noses in things.]

What is going on? Why is there a giant filthy beast going around-

[And this is where her will gives out.]

-without being told how much of a good boy he is! Good boys?

[Weiss manifests her Knight's arm so she can give Cerberus the giant-size scritchings he surely deserves.]

Edited 2019-12-05 15:40 (UTC)

[OH NO. SCRITCHINGS. CERBERUS' ONE WEAKNESS. CERBERUS' FAVORITE THING.

Cerberus kind of dumbly rolled over onto his back like the big goof that he was and accidentally kicked over some statuary with leg spasms while all three heads fought with themselves for the scritches.]

[There is clearly only one solution to this war for scritches: Belly rubs! Weiss is completely blind to the damage being caused, she's too caught up in dog.]

[Yes! Yes! Today is a good day! Cerberus is good dog! Why else would he be getting belly rubs!?]

[It's been a busy, busy time for Valvatorez the past few days. Lots going on, and always more work to be done. Though finally, his office is back to its properly extra, cartoon-gothic style that he prefers it in. It's more homey like this, and while he's still busy, it's a comfortable sort of busy.

Until a giant canine snout bursts through his window, sending glass shards everywhere into his office, followed by a blast of cold air... and a blast of hot air from the hound's breath.

Val looked up from his book when the glass shattered, and somewhat recoiled in surprise when a big ol' red muzzle started poking around in his office. Almost on cue, the singing fish on the wall started belting out lyrics and a tune:

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain
He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's
Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein

Aaoooooo!

...Which honestly only got the giant dog to poke around some more through the window before eventually withdrawing his nose, to which Valvatorez walked over to broken portal to get a good look at what just invaded his space.]

...Now see here, whoever you are, it's very rude to...

[And then he looked out the window, stared back at by six different eyes, one of the heads tilted quizzically at him. And...

Huh.]

...Cerberus? The Cerberus? [Valvatorez stood, almost in shock. But that didn't last long, as a smile found its way to his lips. He couldn't stay mad at those faces, though, and a small smile found its way to his lips.] You're quite a long way from home, aren't you, boy? What brings you here?

[He stood up on the frame of the broken window to allow Cerberus an easier time to see him, smell him, and all of that. He certainly wasn't afraid of the Guardian of the Underworld, and... he sorta wanted to pet him, but he figured if Cerberus were here, there had to be a reason. And that was probably more important.]

[Cerberus did not reply, as none of his three heads has been cursed with the gift of speech. One kind of tilted its head quizzically at him, while the other two kept looking around for Zagreus.]

[Alas, it seemed that large, majestic hound couldn't, or maybe wouldn't, talk. But seeing the other two heads survey the distance around them both curiously was perhaps enough for Valvatorez to understand a rough idea. He was looking for something. Or perhaps, someone.]

Ah, I see. You haven't found whatever it was you're looking for.

[Valvatorez looked at the dog again, his smile broadening a bit more.]

...Just look at you. The first time I've ever seen you in person. A fine example of a proud, noble hound. Handsome, imposing, and powerful.

[....Okay, even he can't resist. His normal composure shatters, and his red eyes light up brightly in joy. He didn't really care if it might be considered blasphemous, just look at the big guy, he had to do it.]

And I'll bet you're a Good Boy. The bestest boy, right? Do you want pets?!

[Now what kind of terrifying underworld guardian would he be if he didn't accept pets? Cerberus panted happily, leaning closer so as to best cram all three heads within petting range of the window.]

[And Valvatorez wastes no time giving scratches and pets wherever he can reach on Cerberus when he pushes all three heads closer. He makes sure not to neglect any head for long, despite having only two hands, and the fact that he's so much smaller than the massive beast.

All the while, Val has the dumbest smile on his face, and babbling idiotically to Cerberus like he was a puppy. One could scarcely believe he was even a daemon, much less a being historically feared.

But this is the power of the Good Dog, then, isn't it?]

[So many people are giving Cerberus attention today! It’s the bestest day for the bestest boy! Even if it’s weirdly bright up here!]

Cerberus!?

[And oh hey there’s master Zagreus! Valvatorez is immediately forgetter as the huge beast tackled Zagreus to the ground to cover him with doggy kisses.]

[When the huge canine... or perhaps, canines, gave a sudden start upon hearing Zagreus's voice, Valvatorez pulled his hands back as the dog took off to pounce on his master. Valvatorez's eyes followed along, and he laughed as Cerberus pinned Zagreus to the ground and giving him plenty of licks and affection.

Oh, that was priceless.

He jumped down from the window, and walked over beside Zagreus, but keeping enough of a berth not to get in the hound's way.]

My, my. He seems quite happy to see you, doesn't he?

[It's not even mocking at all, but he's very clearly amused. But not envious of the young demigod that was now covered in dog saliva.]

[Zagreus is laughing as much as he is trying to escape his slobbery fate.]

That he does, that he does. He must have missed me! Sit, Cerberus!

[Cerberus did not sit.]

[Val continues to watch this scene, smiling in a small way.]

He sure did. He must have, to come all this way from the Underworld. You're quite fortunate to have such a good buddy.

[Valvatorez reached over to pat Cerberus gently on the leg, as to not disturb any of his heads.]

I must admit, I envy you, Zagreus.

You envy me?

[Finally, Zagreus managed to climb out from under the dog without getting immediately bowled over. It helped that he knew all the secret scratch points that would turn Cerberus into a puddle.]

Why's that?

Because you have such a faithful friend and companion at your side, of course!

[It's said with genuine enthusiasm and an earnest tone.]

Such a bond is a truly wonderful thing. And you are lucky enough to be friends with perhaps the greatest, most famous canine of them all! The prince and the stalwart guardian of the Underworld, together as proud comrades! It's quite inspiring, if you ask me.

[It can be easily surmised at this point Valvatorez never owned a dog of his own. For many reasons. But he is at least genuine in the admiration.]

There's a big dog on the roof, but is the dog the only one on the roof?? No.

The dog is Not the only one on the roof.

Reira, feeling the presence of something very big and very Boof, has done what she often does when she just decides to follow something and...well, gotten herself up there as well. It's easier than one thinks, when one is used to climbing all sorts of nonsense in the outlands and can also convince a sprite to turn you into wind.

The goal now. The goal!

The LARGEST of friends! A ten year old is now determinedly making her way toward Cerberus and eventually waving very tiny hands at them.

"...H'llo!" Who's the best boy?? You are!! Let her give pets!

Cerberus paused from his climbing when he saw Reira coming. Look it's a tiny person! All three heads smiled in that way that dogs smile, revealing fangs that HAVE crushed the skulls and ripped the flesh of countless mighty warriors who thought they could cheat death.

The fearsome guardian of the gates of hell licked Reira with a tongue the size of a beach towel when she got close enough, while Zagreus kept on yelling from down below.

"What are you doing!? Is there someone UP there?"

"Yeah..!" That was not an answer for Zagreus. That's key. That was a shout of absolute cheer because this is the best day ever. The Biggest Dog. The Biggest Lick. She's probably covered in dog slobber and she does not care, instead trying to find something to pat with her hands. It's probably a snout, that or a paw, depending on how Cerberus is even positioned.

"Blood and darkness..." Zagreus muttered, looking for a way up to the roof. It looked a bit high to jump, but maybe he could reach that balcony and then...

Meanwhile Reira was getting nuzzled by two heads. The third was glancing down at Zagreus with a face that said "I have made a new friend please do not make me leave."

Reira must thoroughly agree. She has a very broad smile on her face, which is rather out of place for the kid, and is probably going to be very sad when Cerberus has to go.

Unfortunately, Cerberus is sort of a working dog, and that's unavoidable. But they can totally delay it right?

Anyway, that's what Zagreus gets to see when he gets up there, apparently. One Tiny Child, smothered in dog.

Zagreus eventually ended up actually climbing Cerberus' back to get up and see what had his attention. It was, apparently, a small human child.

"Oh."

Zagreus didn't have a lot of experience with children. There weren't a lot of them in Tartarus.

Oh-

There's a person. "Oh." Hmm. They seem a little awkward? Maybe?

The petting does not stop, but Reira's eyes are at least on this guy for now. "...Are you here to pet the dog? ...They're very big. There's a lot you can pet."

This is important. Equal opportunity dog petting.

Zagreus paused, considering how to go on, before going with, "Hello."

Hello seemed safe. He hopped off the dog and onto the roof. "I'm...not NOT here to pet the dog? But he needs to go home." Cerberus made a whining noise. "Oh don't give me that, you know you can't stay here. SOMEONE has to stand guard in the temple of Styx. Can you imagine if they made Alecto do it?"

"You're not?" She pauses, and looks at Cerberus. "...I think they'd like it though. It makes them very happy." She knows, she can Feel that.

But anyway. "Why can't the Alecto person be a guard?" She's siding with big fluff here.

[Desidera was spending some time in her dorm room, mostly just resting. Gunvolt was out for the time being, and Monarch had decided to accompany him rather than stay in the room herself, at least partially to give Desi some actual quiet time.

You know what isn't quiet, though? Glass being broken.

Startled by the noise, she jumped from her bed—literally vaulting herself over the side and landing in the middle of the room—and immediately turned her attention to the window. And. Sort of paused in bewilderment. Because that sure was a giant dog....dogs?

Which seemed to be looking for something. Or maybe they were just nosing around, who knows.]

...Ah?

[Looking around is what they were doing. The window was a BIT too small for the head to actually fit in, but Cerberus none the less stuck as much of his muzzle as he could fit into the room to give it a sniff. There was SOMEONE in here. It wasn't Zagreus, but maybe there were TREATS. Maybe this wouldn't be a dead end after all!]

[Unfortunately(?), neither Desi nor GV have any pets, and as such there's no real reason to have TREATS on-hand.

Fortunately(?), Desi tends to keep some things around in case she feels like she needs a snack but doesn't want to leave the room. Those things tend to be sandwiches that are over-stuffed with whatever meat and are also basically only whatever meat. Maybe it's a little too much to actually be just a "snack" by most peoples' standards, but the girl is a surprisingly big eater.

Without thinking too much about it yet, she grabs one of the aforementioned sandwiches and brings it over to the broken window. Maybe if she gives him something he'll back up a bit so he can (probably) inhale it, and she can do something about the glass?

.... If she was actually thinking about it, she'd probably realize that it would likely have the opposite effect.]

[It didn't work. Cerberus DID take the offered sandwich, because when you put food in front of a dog there's only one thing the dog is going to do. He actually closed his mouth around her hand as well, but was careful about not actually biting. Humans were fragile, after all. After he had swallowed the sandwich, he gave a big doggy grin, which involved a tongue the size of a beach towel flopping out of the side of his mouth and dripping dog drool on the floor. This is a good human who provides snacks!]

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