everything in this world is a lie

[imitationsoul]

Who: Miach and you.
What: Attempts to identify her own species, potential emotion draining, general life stuff.
When: First half of December
Where: Various + Network
Warnings: It's Miach so the usual edginess applies. Discussion of suicide and traumatic past is likely, but not inherent to the prompts. Let me know about your comfort levels if needed be!

Also Miach is in the process of discovering her happiness drainage ability, so that might happen to your character should physical touch occur! The drain wears off quickly with such little contact! Let me know if that isn't cool with you and it won't happen.


A.) Library and around campus - first Two Weeks of December

[ Miach is a regular fixture in the library by now - or by good weather on the campus. Any day, she can be spotted lazing about in some corner or another, reading. Those who pay attention to their surroundings must have noticed it by now. December is no different here, but the trend in books has narrowed down by a lot.

COMMON DRAGON CLANS. CHECHEN FOLKLORE. CREATURES OF CHECHNYA. CAUCASIAN DEMONS. and many similar titles pile up and up. Huh.

As usual, Miach is not likely to pay any mind to people around her unless approached thought. ]

B.) Music Room - December 15th

[ The door to the music room isn't closed completely and a soft piano tune is spilling out. Anybody curious will find Miach playing with a gentle smile. She'll ignore any newcomer completely until she's done playing, but once the last note fades, the smile is instantly gone and her expression goes inquisitive. ]

If you're expecting an encore, you're out of luck.

C.) Network - un: werther - December 12th

How many folk tales that you've heard in the mundane world have turned out to actually be true?

D.) Wildcard

[ Literally just toss whatever at me. ]

Comments

[playitagain]

[Nana fidgets, a little, at the way Miach phrased that. She feels flushed, and her fingers hesitate on the piano keys for a moment. She shouldn't share that kind of thing, but it comes out more and more. It slips through her guard, because... well, because she doesn't want to bottle it in.

She wants the impossible: to be the rock that everyone can depend on and, somehow, to feel differently than she does. She can't turn off how she feels.

She looks down for a moment, and lets out a sigh that's a lot like relenting. She does a couple more notes with her fingers.] ...I don't want to be alone. I feel like, when I first came here, I had a chance to really make friends -- to not be the person standing, quietly, in the corner that seemed okay.

Seemed.

[Nana wasn't okay.] But I found out that feeling like I'm finally, finally not alone was predicated on the world ending... and as it does, that happiness would come crumbling down.

So... I try to keep everyone close, and make their lives better, because if--when it all falls apart... I'll lose them, and I don't think my heart can take that.

[imitationsoul]

Is that what friendship is?

[ Miach is maybe not exactly the kind of person one would go to on advice regarding friends. In fact, she's never had a friend in her life before... well, before Nana, ironically. But she's read books, many many books. The views of authors upon authors and characters upon characters. Thus she considers her theoretical grasp on the concept quite decent - and she certainly has an idea what she herself would want out of it. ]

Is it friendship to hide all this away and simply uphold an atmosphere of happiness like you're taking care of an artificial biotope? That's 'getting along', that's 'coexisting in harmony', that's all the things society would like to tell us are only good and proper...

But what good is it to you when you spend all your time in the biodome wondering when the walls will break? Is it really friendship yet, when you can't be sure that it will endure your true feelings?

You say you're not alone now, but you sound lonely. You yourself don't believe in this surface reflection of kinship.

This kind of world fits your true ideal as little as it does mine. We want something real, don't we?

[ Miach's part of the impromptu paino duo has faded out now, because now her full attention is on Nana. She's turned slightly on the bench to be able to watch the other girl with probing attentive eyes. ]

[playitagain]

I...

[It's lost on her, a little, that she might be Miach's first friend. It's more unnerving having things that she thinks, things that she worries about, pointed out to her. This makes Nana wonder; makes Nana worry that, maybe, she is wrong.

If she is wrong, what does that mean? Where does that leave everything she did? Nana's eyes widen unevenly, a flicker of emotion in them, and her fingers drift -- tips lingering on the edges of the keys, and then finally fall off.

She's quieter when she speaks.]

...yes, I want something real.

[She wants to say that it's real -- that it's a real bond, with these people who don't know her that well. But it's always complicated by how much she holds back. Nana's head hangs down, twin tails dipping with her bangs, and she shakes her head.]

But I... I do care about them. I care about all of them. Too much to let go, too much to focus on myself. I do need them.

Even if it hurts.

[imitationsoul]

Pain is real. That's the reassurance on your end of the bargain then.

[ In truth, Miach can't be sure that she understands Nana correctly. She's just reframing her in terms that are familiar and rolling with it, because she's never been one for admitting uncertainty. ]

I won't knock on pain as an experience, of course. I think we as a society are too focused on avoiding it and it goes at the cost of really experiencing our true selves. The really painful things that we subject ourselves to solely because we want to... what better reassurance of worth is there? If you're willing to suffer for it, your passion is clear.

[ It's a form of self-delusion, for sure, but it's such a selfish yet masochistic form of it. It's a wonderfully raw experience. ]

You see the world how it really is and you shoulder it on your own. I can't agree with coddling anybody and I think your approach to other people is wrong, but... I like that determination of yours.

[ And since there's no hands on the piano anymore now, that means their fingers are free so Miach can brush her own cold ones against Nana's gently. ]

[playitagain]

That's...

[Nana hasn't really thought about it that way. Pain was something she always avoided; pain was the thing she took as a way to protect what she cared about. She never thought of it as a proof of passion, or a badge of honor.

She looks up at Miach and blinks. She really expected chiding -- most people told her that she didn't need to take all of that one. Or, maybe, Miach would point out the futility of what she's doing.

But she says she likes it, even if she disagrees with it. She feels her fingers brushed against, and at first, her fingers curl a little -- and then there's only a moment's hesitation, before her fingers slide between Miach's, and squeeze her hand.

Nana looks up, and there's a small smile on her face.]

...I'm glad you do. I know we're different, but... the way you do what you want, the way you make me question things... even if they're not the way I think, I like that about you.

[imitationsoul]

[ This friendship is a little like a tug of war - though neither of them is consciously trying to change the other's mind, there must come a day when one of these ideals will eclipse the other. How far off is it...? What will it be like...? Miach can't say she has answers. ]

And that's real. Even though we're on opposing ends, even though you like to create the atmosphere I want to destroy... Even though we know this about one another, we are joining hands.

Rather poetic, if you think about it.

[ She giggles softly and shortly at that. ]

[playitagain]

It is poetic, isn't it? [She's thought about -- she thinks about it now -- that one day, they'll be at odds and one way will have to win out. But she can't quite regret that. If there's a constant in Nana Daiba's life, it's that living in the now is almost always better.

Shame that she still has to worry about the future.

She smiles, and laughs softly herself, her fingers staying slide through Miach's.] I'm glad for it, too.

[imitationsoul]

[ There's comfortable silence, for a little while. Initiating contact comes easily to Miach, even though she's never done it. It's just movements, just gestures. She's not shy. But it's still warm and soft and comforting. --not that she thinks she needs to be comforted from anything, of course. ]

Do you still want to try and duet properly, while we're here?

[playitagain]

[Nana would be lying to say she's not a little nervous. Like something could be said to make the moment go wrong. But it's not a bad silence, either. She doesn't try to break it.

She looks at Miach when she speaks, then nods.]

I think that's a wonderful idea.

[imitationsoul]

What kind of song do you feel like?

[ She has actually no real idea what to expect from Nana's music taste. Between everything she knows about Nana, her interests are about as all over the place as Miach's own. ]

[playitagain]

[Nana's musical tastes, in a word, are broad. She likes show tunes most, but there's a large number of bands and modern singers. She likes classic music, too. This presents a dilemma and opportunity.]

Hmm. Something older? You mentioned you like classical music?