daybreakacademy | Reverend Reverend please come quick 'cause I got something to admit

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Reverend Reverend please come quick 'cause I got something to admit

Who: Ernesto OR Héctor + TWO Mingle spaces
What: TOUR AND A MOVIE PART TWO; STARING YOU? + NECROMANCY; HONEST EFFORTS (a.k.a, Héctor's failed revival this month is a truth spell.)
When: April, late in the month
Where: A filming location in Soliel, Daybreak Academy
Warning: N/A
Notes: People affected by Héctor's accidental truth spell can also bring this into the movie mingle. Have you ever lied without actually lying? Now's the time to learn!

TOUR AND A MOVIE

Filming is ramping up.

Just as before, Higher Daybreak faculty are encouraging participants to see this as a way of learning to use their magical skills in a way that is discrete and ensures the protection of the Veil. It's spoken of as a chance for students to better learn how to hide their abilities while still putting them to use, disguising them as various other talents. In turn, they'll be credited in the film's production once it's complete, as well as receive extra credits in related courses. And of course, besides the great publicity, what better way to make a hit movie than adding a magical touch to it?

While work around the set continues to be welcomed and encouraged, this month filmmakers are particularly keen on finding those who can fill a newly opened role for an extra! Daybreak students are being to the very rare and special opportunity to audition in, without even going through the gruelling ordeal of terse agents, discouraging phone calls, and dull waiting areas! Just line right up and give it your best!

The following roles are open:

-Kindly and Adoring Town's Person Number Five

-Irritable Officer Number Two

-Overdramatic Restaurant Employee (or Customer, adjusted to match ages)

On top of this extraordinary opportunity, the winning student will be treated to a day on the town with De La Cruz himself.

On top of all this, with the improving weather, more scenes are being shot outside and in the heart of Soliel. It's quite possible to wander on set entirely by accident! Just remember that maintaining the laws of the Veil during this important project is still of utmost importance.

~~~~~~

HONEST EFFORTS

Nothing happened. He took precautions, he followed the spell, he did everything right. He double-checked the runes and then triple checked the cage he'd set himself up in. There was light, there was energy, a whole burst of it shooting up around him and then darting out past the walls (and over the campus). And then nothing. He was still just as dead as before. He wasn't even a different kind of dead like his usual screw-ups led to. He made a flashy light show and nothing more. In a fit of frustration, he scraped the whole circle, packed up, and settled in to go back to work the next night.

But, with that morning, students and faculty alike around Daybreak may find themselves afflicted with a sudden need to be a little more candid than usual. Maybe a lot more candid.

The urge for honesty may manifest in being suddenly unable to lie-- either directly or at all. It might mean talking way too much. Maybe it means confessing things you've been bottling up, or simply showing who you are inside when you'd normally be inclined to hide it. It might just be something small and simple going throughout the day. Or, it could build into something so overwhelming it becomes impossible to bear until the truth is out. It varies from person to person and does, eventually, go away.

But it also may be intensified in those who might be just a bit too close to a certain someone...

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He says nothing. It's difficult to respond to that. Even the close contact, the small bit of warmth, doesn't really help him word this in the right ways.

"I can make time for you, mijo," He says. And that much is true. That much would be easy.

And it would be nice to do normal things, even if he's not sure what he can do just yet.

"Don't think you're useless. Okay? That's not what it is. I just really don't know what more can be done. But we can make your childhood... not shitty. That's a thing that can still happen. That's important too. I keep saying, this is my second chance, but it's your first. Both lives can be important. So... yeah. Don't forget to do things for you."

Plenty of things they could do. Watch movies. Play games. Maybe even board games, he's never had any. Listen to music, anything but de la Cruz. Infinite ways to keep on goofing of. Pity he can't teach his favorite people to fly, though.

 Words bubbling inside him, things he shouldn't say desperate to get out. There must be something wrong with him too. But what's not wrong with him? Well, that he mostly does at night, needing less sleep than a human.

< But it's... I'm... god. > He jerks his head to the side.

"That's good," He admits, though he's still unsure. He can't help being unsure. Tobias is just... so hard on himself. So quick to put himself last.

And he can't, for so many reasons, really be there to help that. The final confession makes him sigh.

"Lo siento. That's probably my fault." It seems like he's been spreading it to people all day.

< Not as if you have any other choice. I... can't think of any better ideas. >

He struggles against the urge to keep running his 'mouth', and loses. < Don't let anyone get on your case for testing spells on yourself too much, unless they've got a better idea of their own. I'd... probably be doing the same thing. >

He lifts his head a little, to better look at Tobias. As well as to smile. He runs a hand over the boy's feathers.

"Thanks. I'll try." He needed to hear that one, he thinks. "I don't like disappointing people. I don't want to drive away my friends. But I can't stop until I've got something. I won't."

< You're just trying to survive, and... is anyone helping you besides that creepy doll? >

He turns and nibbles at the guy's fingers, an odd show of affection. Best he's got. No shifting without clothes nearby. It clashes with his bitter tone. This... hurts. < God, they should be doing more than telling you to quit. To give up and die. >

His smile slips. Guess they couldn't keep hopeful forever.

"Sira. And Imelda was helping me," He says. She's not anymore, of course. "There's only so much anyone can do, Tobias. Necromancy isn't simple to begin with. It's complicated and messy and there are good reasons that in a world of crazy magic, people don't really trust it. But I'm already undead. Blighted. Necromancy isn't designed to be used on people still here. I'm having to figure this out as I go and what it means for me. Some of the ways that people might help won't necessarily work on me. And a lot of people just don't know this in general. No one's telling me to die. They're just... not sure."

They're still his friends though.

< Sorry. I know I need to drop it. I'm just... > His beak is pressed against Héctor's arm and he goes quiet for a moment.

 To even think about losing someone. He's never had anyone to lose. Fifty pounds of feelings in a two pound body. < Don't stop. And I'll... do whatever I can, if you change your mind. >

Any other time he might offer advice. Right now, it tastes sour.

"Okay," He says and he manages not to mention that there was a time in which he wasn't sure about this either. But he's come too far. "I'll let you know."

He really should have tried harder to keep that in. Nice going, Tobias. Pity duct-taping his beak shut won't make him be quiet. Can't shut up a telepath without knocking them out, and he doesn't feel like trying to nap in a classroom.

He means to say he'll leave the guy alone, only for something else entirely to come out: < Do you, uh. Mind if I stay a while? >

"...Please do," He says back. He doesn't mind if Tobias sleeps even. He just wants to stay.

Héctor can stay either way, it's only Tobias who might have left. Before he says anything else selfishly stupid.

< Okay. Sure. I've... got my phone if you want to listen to some music. Or whatever. > Watch a movie, read a book--though the screen's pretty small from a human's perspective.

"Okay," He says softly. "Gracias." He doesn't know if he will. There's a lot on his mind and he kind of just wants to untangle it while the urge to blurt it out has calmed momentarily.

The quiet lasts for a good few minutes--give the bird-boy credit for that much. The desperate urge inside him builds until he wants to scream, talk about anything. What's a safe topic he can latch onto?

Oh.

< You know what would be nice? If we could fly together. I think you'd like it, flying as a bird. I know, I know, it's stupid. Doesn't stop me fantasizing about flying around with some of you. Almost every day. > A beat. < God, you were robbed too. >

Edited (AAA DERP) 2020-05-07 22:52 (UTC)

"Mmm," He hums. "I'm not the greatest with flight. Dios knows I've tried. Imelda would have flown with you. Miss her..."

He hadn't meant to add that last part but this is the situation he's in. As for that part on Tobias' end.

"Death doesn't care about age much. Unfortunately."

< It could be better with your own wings. > He buries his beak in his feathers, but it doesn't help... 

Safe to assume she's lost his trust, judging by how bitter he sounds. Again. Shame hits him a moment later and he draws in on himself, feeling like his veins have turned to ice. < Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I--I have to go. You don't need this from me. >

He makes a face, bobbing his head side to side as though to say maybe. But then he stops. He blinks at Tobias.

Oh no. No, no, not this again. All that time people judged Imelda, treating her like the bad guy when it wasn't her fault.

"Tobias, that's not fair. She has reasons. She- she's gotta do what's best--" But he cuts off. Tobias wants to go. He draws back.

"I... okay."

Too late. He wasn't fast enough. He snaps out more words, helpless against the effects of the spell.

< The least she could do is tell you what those reasons are. Check on you once in a while. I'm not asking what her deal is, I don't need to know, but did she even tell you? Does it matter if I like her? >

"Wh--"

He can't believe this. He can't believe this is happening again.

"Yes, she told me! Do you think we didn't talk before she had to go? She wouldn't do that to me! And it does matter! It matters to me! It matters that people apparently can't stop hating my wife because of my screw-ups! And worse, she liked you! She was kind to you! At least before when she banned music people just pinned it on that!"

So much for calm. So much for comfort. Now he's aching, frustrated, and upset.

< I know, I liked her too. Both of you were the first people who ever cared about me. My fault too, even the doll knows it, I gave up and wouldn't let people try. But I don't hate her, I'm just angry at her. > He does't need to breathe to keep on talking. No pauses. Cruel unhelpful things keep broadcasting out of his head, even as he screams at himself to stop. 

And then it ends. He shrinks down, afraid and ashamed. < What... I didn't mean to say any of that. What did I... > Some fucking comfort indeed, Tobias. Stupid, weak little bird. There are no words to describe how much he hates himself in this moment for losing control--sheer black loathing, consuming him. And he still has no filter. < Sorry. What do I know about romance and family anyway? Don't listen to me. You... sometimes I think you'd have been better off never meeting me. >

Is it better? He's not sure. Like Tobias said, he doesn't hate her but...

"Tobias. Imelda has to live without me. She had to live without me for years and years, not even knowing if I cared about her. She, more than anyone, knows the difference of who I was and who I am now. She..."

Tobias didn't mean to say it, but he felt it. And it all feels terrible. The beating up to follow doesn't help either. He sits back in the chair, brow knotting.

"... You know I didn't want to do this? Not to start with. It was ten years for us. Ten years without. I wanted to go home and take what I could get. And she... she didn't even know if she was ready for me back at all. Not because she hated me, but because this left a wound. We had to spend a long time grieving and not even getting to grieve properly. Trying to do this is terrifying. It's hoping something will work so bad and knowing that by putting that hope in... you risk bringing that grief back that much worse."

Because if they fail, after all this, then they wasted everything. The time, the energy, the last chance with each other. His shoulders sag.

"She wanted to forget me. It hurt so much. But she was the one who decided to get me started with this. I wouldn't know what I'm doing if she hadn't gotten me there. And not just that... for all that she wanted forget me, she didn't wish she'd never met me either. And I've never thought that about her, even when she really hurt me. So, why would I think that of you?"

He takes a slow, heavy breath.

"She can't put her life on hold for me, just like you can't. She has to live with herself no matter how this goes, and I need you to do that too. You lose people, it hurts, but you have to keep going. You hang on to the living and you remember how to live. Do you understand?"

< Yes. Yes, I understand what you want me to do, but I can't. >

His voice is enough like sound to make it seem like he's whispering, pained. Wanting to cry. Impossible, for a hawk, and that's for the best. Tears would make things worse.

< Don't ask me to do that before you're gone. I can't. And you shouldn't have to be alone when... when it's time, missing her. That's what I don't understand. Why wouldn't she want to be there for you...? Did you ask her to leave? >

Please say no, he thinks. Please.

"Why would I ask her to leave? I'm not selfless enough for that." He's not. He's really, really not. He keeps saying it over and over but maybe now he'll be believed.

He shakes his head, miserably.

"I don't know when the time is, neither of us knows. But, Tobias, if I can't talk to you about this before I'm gone, when can I? If this doesn't work, there is no after. I need you to promise me. Promise you will not make me an excuse to stop living. There are people here who care. If you need help, ask for it."

< Okay. > he says, no louder than before. 

No lying tonight, he can't promise he will. Maybe he'll fail. Maybe he can't be helped, maybe he's broken beyond repair. And the apocalypse won't wait for him to get his shit together.

< That's the best I can do. Try. >

He slumps down where he is. The energy he barely had to start with goes out of him.

"Okay," He says. He runs a hand through his hair. "Okay."

He guesses that's the most he can ask for.

"I'm sorry."

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