daybreakacademy | Memory Sharicus

Memory Sharicus - Oh No, not again!

About 8 am on July 15th, Rex does something stupid in his usual genius way. It was meant to be a small, simple test run of a method to scan a person and instantly gain all the data he needed to produce a Phantom.

The small field the spell was meant to spread just kept growing, until popping like a bubble with the most counterintuitive sound of all- two seconds of white noise, sounding as if it was coming from inches away. Not everyone heard it. But everyone who did...

It's a painless process, almost ticklish and instantaneous as numerous coloured orbs fly out from their chest, taking wild curving trajectories that launch them all over the academy and some of Soleil, coming to a sudden stop and hovering silently for just a few seconds.

That's when they start to slowly float towards the nearest possible recipient of the memory they contain, accelerating as they get closer as if thought and mind have a unique sort of magnetism.

It's sort of beautiful to see, really, not that Rex will notice because 60% of his mind is consumed with fear he will get into trouble and the Phantom project will be compromised. On the other hand, the Phantom project could provide the perfect scapegoat. So about six hours after the initial event, he released his latest creation- the Phantom mischief-maker, Waggery!

What a disaster.

(( ooc: The planning post is here! Be careful to warn for the nastier memories! If you already have memories planned to share, feel free to write them as a top level or just put up your character and link to the planning/make it a free for all. There'll be a post below for Waggery shenanigans and random NPC memories up for grabs. ))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It's going to happen, because they've already brought it up, and if they don't talk about it Adelaide is going to scream.]

No, it's fine, it's just - Everyone heard me and that's kind of really embarrassing but we should probably talk about it because I don't really remember everything I said or why I said it and it might just make things more awkward if we don't talk about it.

[She says it all in a rush. She wonders if that's how Toki usually feels.]

...Okay.

[ He's really focusing on staying calm. He's gotta be strong for Toki- uh, for Adelaide.

He glances around making sure there's no one to see him gently usher her into his van. He does not need if this van's a-rockin' logic applied. There's still only one chair in there, which he wheels to her end and sits cross-legged at the divider between his living space and the driver's seat. ]

So. Uhm. Do you want me to... recap it? Or do you want to try and piece it together?

[This is it. This is the end of her.

She takes a seat on the chair, and she really wants to cover her face with her hands but she manages to resist the urge. She can handle this! She can! She can...take responsibilities for her actions and like.

Have a conversation.

Oh, this is the worst.]

Might as well just rip the bandaid off and tell me.

Okay. One moment, please.

[ Rex takes a deep breath, runs a hand over his eyes and then... goes. He stars pretty well, but by the end he's kinda... flailing. ]

I was experimenting with cooking for you when you arrived. You informed me you had been 'doing some thinking.'

[ Which probably means she was considering her... suggestion before she was afflicted with the spell or curse or whatever it is. That thought alone has him worry his plump ol' lip for a moment. G-geeze. What'd he do to this poor girl? ]

Which evidently was that you enjoy my company but uh. We had not done 'the really fun stuff.' Uh. Which. Uhm. You defined as. [ He can't look at her anymore but does do air quotes. ] "We should fuck and get it over with" which uhm I hadn't really considered, as a... uh, progression of our relationship and so came as . As somewhat of a surprise to me.

[ His palms end up on his cheeks, eyes looking everywhere but at Adelaide. The corner of the van sure is interesting, isn't it!? ]

I declined! [ He says this suddenly. As if she thought they had boned or something. ] On the basis that you were not in your right mind, which you questioned but I said we could discuss when you were in your right mind which I suppose we're doing now, I guess. Also you said I looked good when I blushed and I said you were kind and then you tried to kill me.

[ And now he wishes she had! ]

[Well.

It's worse than she thought.

Slowly, she covers her face with her hands. She wants to scream, but screaming isn't going to do anything for her. She does groan into her hands, loudly, and that feels better.

What the fuck was wrong with her? She doesn't - it's not like she thinks about having sex with Rex! Or at least not consciously. Apparently her subconscious is all about that Bulgarian beef and now she has to live with the fact she propositioned one of her closest friends.]

...Right. [She clears her throat.] Well that's...awkward.

[Uuuguughghghghgh. She scrubs at her face, whining a bit.]

...I mean. Obviously I don't. Know why I did that. I don't really know what that spell did but I guess it made me want to, you know, let loose and I'm really sorry I came onto you like that.

[Because if she was in her right mind, she'd just take all her desires and lock them up into a tight little box, like she's been doing.]

[ He makes a similar whinge as he forces himself to turn those dark eyes of his towards her slowly. ]

N-no, it's okay. It wasn't. Uhm. Like I say, you weren't in your right mind!

[ He tries to put his thoughts into order, and it just doesn't work. It's like stacking juggling balls. It's possible, but if you don't do it carefully they just flop down, and it's a big mess. ]

The present leading theory is that the magic... removes one's inhibitions.

[ His eyes go to the ceiling again. It's not an inserted desire, but a released desire. It wouldn't be so bad if she had just focused on her already mentioned opinion he was hot (which is also terrifying in itself). But she talked about how she liked him too. ]

So. Uhm. Do you.. want... to- [ Stop. No. Not now. ] Nevermind!

[It's difficult to look him in the eye. She feels like she's going to combust - just go completely up in smoke. Her cheeks are a vibrant red right now, and Adelaide kind of regrets feeding more regularly. Before, it was easier to act cool, calm, and unaffected. Right now it couldn't be more obvious.]

Maybe, but! You still had to...had to deal with that.

[She stares over his shoulder, wondering if the world would be kind enough to just...swallow her whole.

It removes inhibitions. Or at least it might - maybe it doesn't! Maybe it's all just one big misunderstanding and Adelaide doesn't have to analyze their relationship more than she already has.]

Do I want to what?

[She really shouldn't be asking, but she is.]

[ Oh shit she's making him say it, which annoys enough he just blurts out- ]

Fuck me!?

[ Fuck him indeed, he's about to combust. ]

I don't know?!

[Oh, Christ.]

I mean - I don't - That is -

Maybe?!

[Just end her now.]

W-well-

[ Rex sputters repeatedly and ends up smashing together numerous possible sentences. ]

So make up your mind! I don't know what I'm meant to do! 19 years and no one has ever even liked me as a friend! You can't expect me to work this one out!

Of course people have liked you as a friend! [What, do the people at Daybreak not count???

She throws her hands up, nearly smacking the roof of the van.]

But fine! I like being close to you so I guess fucking you wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen! It might actually be nice!

Not before I got here they haven't! [ Only people at Daybreak count. He's wrong- a few people have liked him but always on the move as he was, he never really noticed or saw enough to overcome his assumption it was a trick.

His hands are quivering a bit and he grasps his upper arms to make them stop, which only emphasises his pouting. If she likes him blushing, or admires those thick lips, or finds him cute when he's flustered, it's all there right now. ]

Dear god girl, why.

Would you have even noticed?! [She waves her hands, as if that'll get it through his thick skull that people have probably always liked him.

And now it's her turn to get flustered and defensive, arms curling around herself.]

What does it matter? It's not like - it's not like you want me, too, so it's whatever.

[She has no idea what Rex wants, but why would anyone want her?]

[ He lets out a 'rrr' like it hurt to hear her say that he doesn't want her. Of course, he does. He just doesn't... really know in what way. The concept of being romantic did not occur to him until shortly before she tried to kill him for the second time. All his defence is blown away by the idea he has to protect her, even just her feelings. He doesn't even notice that he's leaning forward, palms on the floor. ]

That's- [ What is it? Unfair? Probably. Everything is unfair. Wrong? A little. He does want her. He wants her by his side, holding his hand. Cruel to herself? Definitely.

What he chooses to say however is- ] That's not... necessarily true.

[ Even he knows that needs some follow up. He gulps deeply, breathing heavily. He's been stabbed, shot, burnt, bitten, sliced, cursed, frozen and many other torments but this is the most afraid he's been since he fought the previous form of Indrik. ]

I lo- [ The word catches in his throat, which has tightened tenfold. A gulp resets it, but when he tries again, the same thing happens. Rex slams his fists against the floor and tries once more- ] I adore you!

[ What wonders a synonym can do to the human mind. ]

[She's not...expecting him to be upset. She's just expecting the same blank-faced, rational Rex there always is, just still embarrassed.

She doesn't...see any reason why Rex would care about her. He's been helping her, sure, but there's no reason for him to actually care about her for herself. Keeping her from hurting other people? Yeah, she could see why he'd want to do that. Keeping her around because she's useful to him? Yeah, she could see that too. Him actually caring about her beyond this promise he's made just...seems impossible. She's not so lucky. She doesn't deserve that.

She goes quiet, letting the confession linger in the air. She doesn't know what to say. She knows - she thinks she knows - what he was trying to say but couldn't. Adoration and love aren't such different things, but one is easier to say. One carries less weight. She just...doesn't know what to do.

So she does what she always does, which is follow her instincts. She slides out of her chair, crossing the van so she can kneel in front of Rex. There's not a lot of space for them, but that...doesn't matter. She reaches out to take one of his hands, still trying to come up with what to say.]

I...

[She blinks, eyes stinging, before shaking her head.]

I adore you, too. It's not...not just your body I want, you know?

[There. That has to be good enough.]

[ There's no resistance as she takes his hand, placing his other one over the top. His breath hitches and both hands squeeze- gently. As if she couldn't snap him like a twig. As if she couldn't take everything he can dish out and more, physically at least. ]

But I... [ There's tens of thousands of things he could say he is, some good, some bad, some nonsense. In the end, he settles on that rarest of things with the truth. ] Don't deserve you. You should find someone better. You're so easy to... adore. You could have anyone.

[ She deserves far better than him. She should be happy, not stuck with... what he is. ]

[She makes a face at that, a brief flash of annoyance, before she shakes her head.]

Don't be an idiot.

[She lifts their hands up, scooting even closer. Soon, she'll be on top of him, and that might...make him combust.]

You deserve good things - and I don't think there's anyone better for me. [She sighs.] Or at least there's not anyone who makes me feel the way you do.

[Could she have anyone? She doubts it, especially now, but she doesn't want just anyone. She wants someone who makes her feel safe. Who makes her feel normal. And even though Rex is the strangest person she's met, he's done that.]

[ He can't. He is an idiot. He's a weak idiot, a complete waste of skin. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be anywhere, he shouldn't be inflicting such horrible thoughts on one of the most admirable people he knows, he just shouldn't be. ]

Tell me how I make you feel. Please.

[ His grip gets a little tighter, he sits up a little straighter, his eyes are pleading even if his voice is hushed. He has to know the depths of his sins, so he can find some way to make it up to her. ]

[It's a shame she can't read thoughts - but there's nothing she can do to convince him otherwise, is there? All she can do is be there for him and try to prove him wrong.]

...You make me feel safe. Like things aren't so bad. Like...like maybe I'm not the person I think I am.

[She shakes her head.]

I know it probably sounds stupid, but...you've made being here easier.

[ The most damning things he could ever have done. Making her feel safe when he's nothing but a danger. Making her feel better when he only makes things worse. But... She isn't the person she thinks she is. One out of three isn't good. But it's not the worst. ]

I've just done what anyone would have done... [ His impulse to help, like it's instinct, isn't something he recognises as special. And he had those retroactively applied ulterior motives. Their work together has unlocked a great deal of knowledge for him. ] ...If I... If I left, would you want to come with me?

[ It's the question he's wanted to ask for a long time. He wants to hear her say 'no' so she realises how silly she's being. He wants to hear 'yes' because he wants someone he can rely on, at long last. But he wants to hear no because relying on people only leads to tragedy. But he wants to hear yes because he'd stay for her if he had no other reason to be here. ]

[She tilts her head, giving him a small, incredulous smile.]

I think you overestimate how much shit people are willing to put up with. [Not everyone would still want to be around someone who attacked them, who tried to kill them. Twice. Not many people would stand for that, she's pretty sure. Maybe the numbers are skewed at Daybreak, but...people still have self-preservation instincts.]

And...

[Would she leave with Rex? There's a lot at Daybreak that's good for her, but...]

Yeah. Yeah, I would.

[He can't be left alone, now can he?]

[ He wants to try and make his own quip about how she underestimates how shit she is. He's probably miscalculating how understanding people can be of circumstances beyond people's control. Maybe because he knows he chose to do all the things he has. Neither time she attempted to eat him was her fault. It feels painful, that he can be helping her make progress in feeling like a human and then stuff like this happens, and they could well be back to square one.

His voice gives up entirely when he hears Adelaide say she'd come with him if he went. He believes that she believes that, even if she'd surely change her mind if it actually came up.

The hand atop hers leaves it to rest on her head, slowly moving down the back of her neck. A gentle pressure asking her to be guided down to his chest. ]

[Adelaide leans into the embrace, resting her head against his chest. She can feel his heart beat, and she closes her eyes. Being close to Rex like this...helps. It's comforting, the way she imagines a hug from your parents would be, and it doesn't make her feel like her skin is crawling.

Her eyes are still stinging, though, and she's glad her face is hidden as tears start to roll down her cheeks. He can probably hear it in her voice, though, muffled as it might be.]

I'm sorry.

[ His heart starts as a drum solo, but ever beat is slower than the last as she settles against him. It’s not just that having her close feels good, it’s that he knows she feels the same and he’s helping, right?

He gives her a moment after she speaks, stroking the back of her head with one hand and squeezing hers with the other. Letting her know it’s okay, whatever she’s apologising for. It’s almost five seconds before he asks. ]

...what for?

[She feels stupid, as she says it, but she can't take it back now. All she can do is try to make it up to him.

He doesn't...deserve this. He deserves someone who can make him happy - she doesn't fathom for a second that she does that. She's caused him too much trouble to make him happy.]

For loving you.

[The words are quiet - not quiet enough for him to be able to hear her, but quiet enough she can pretend he doesn't understand.]

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