plague upon the world (it's these two gremlins)

[suddenlybees]

WHO: Ellie, Kano, and you~
WHERE: Lumière dorms, around campus
WHEN: first week of school
WHAT: crickets!!!
WARNINGS: crickets... nothing else foreseen, but will edit if necessary!
NOTES: this is a joint post with Ellie and Kano, so you might be tagged back by either of them or both, please let us know if you have a preference!

i. Lumière Dormitory lobby
[ Twenty centimeters isn't a lot. The length of the box's edge just barely exceeds the length of Kano's palm as he carries his package into the dorms, giving it a little shake next to his ear but unable to hear anything inside. The box is pretty light, too... maybe they got scammed?

The only way to find out is to open the box, and Ellie's right there to stab her switchblade into the top of the box and pull down sharply to cut open the box—-

Do you know how many crickets fit inside a 20x20x20 cm box? Originally, around 500.

Now, there's only a couple dozen left, and dwindling every passing second the two of them stare at the plague they've unleashed upon the dorm. ]

ii. cricket wrangling, inside and around the dorm
[ You learn to stop screaming real quick when every time you open your mouth, you find a cricket or two inside, so it's masks on and sleeves pushed up like this isn't shady at all, haha, this isn't their fault. Anyways, stand there, right there, and DON'T. MOVE. Just stay still while the two of them... well, it's no butterfly net, but they've got fly swatters and two socks full of crickets that they can tie off when they're full and— ]

I SAID DON'T MOVE!!

[ If you get smacked in the face, you've already gotten fair warning, now take off your socks and make yourself useful. ]

iii. on the waaaaay other side of campus
[ They pretend they have nothing to do with the fact that an exterminator is being called to exorcise the dorms. They have nothing to do with that? They've been here the entire time, camped out in front of one of the buildings with their little stall— a table dragged out from somewhere, two folding chairs, a sign leaning against the front of the table reading:

€1 EACH
IF YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT
IF IT TOUCHES YOU, YOU BUY IT
NO REFUNDS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO THE 7 SEVENS

[ and a megaphone that's a mistake to allow in Kano's hands as he shouts right into it. ]

Crepes! Get your crepes here~! Chocolate clusters and liquid luck! There's a surprise in every bite! Purchase one of each and receive a complimentary ~*~*mystery box*~*~! What a deal! Don't pass this chance up!!

[ The ~*~*~mystery boxes*~*~ are packed up nice and neat on one end of the table, with the rest of it being a spread of little chocolate drops on a tray (they twitch once in a while, but ignore that), several dozen bottles of something dark brown (the liquid sloshes around once in a while, but ignore that), and Ellie currently taking her turn at working the crepe station, once in a while sprinkling in some of the """secret ingredient""" (some of which might escape and leap onto your face and chirp, but iGNORE THAT) ]

wc.
[ For anything else, ping northpaws or birdseed! ]

Comments

ii, no prefs

[spelleton]

[ Oh my god he just got back to the dorm what have you children done.

He does follow instructions and doesn't move, but he also just kind of snatches a cricket merrily leaping away to freedom out of reflex.

And then another, before he consciously stops himself. He's supposed to be a doctor, he probably shouldn't be falling into trained patterns around small, fast-moving objects. ]

...And why did you need this many crickets, pray tell? [ He sounds mildly long-suffering. ]

II

[made_up_names]

[ Do you want to know what sets off spider-senses really badly? Like, constantly? And confusingly?

Did you guess almost 500 escaped crickets? If so, good job, well done. Peter is - trying to hold still, but he can't, because oh my god he can sense all these little buggers around him. His spider senses are supposed to warn him about danger, but. Well. Sometimes it gets confused. Every time one of these goddamn crickets so much as twitch, he gets a tiny little ping in the back of his head. But there's so many he can't actually pinpoint where the hell they are, which just means he just sort of keeps turning around and making a face ]

What - what the heck did you do? What is that?

[elliexir]

[ here comes ellie, with her sock, flyswatter, and mask. she absolutely smacks ekkehardt on the arm when a cricket lands on it. have fun with cricket guts on your arm now, dude. ]

What makes you think that they're ours?

[elliexir]

[ don't worry, peter, ellie will get all those crickets off you! by picking them up and shoving them into the sock, though she might smack him right on the face if one jumps on his forehead or something... ]

Crickets. [ she says in a matter-of-fact way. ] A buttload of them.

[spelleton]

[ He doesn't even react to getting flyswatted. If cricket guts were the worst thing he had to deal with as a healer he'd be far less desensitized to his job than he currently is. ]

Oh, just a guess. I could be wrong. [ Or the magical ability of passing by someone delivering a box to the dorm earlier in the day. ] Do you want these crickets contained alive, by the way? I think I have some containers.

[ As he's talking he just...keeps swiping crickets as they pass by. He has like a handful of them now, safely contained in one closed hand.

This is not even remotely the worst thing he's ever had to deal with, so apart from his somewhat tired tone, he's just kind of unfazed. ]

[suddenlybees]

[ There was a reason, but maybe not a good reason, depending on who you ask. It's not important right now, though!!! ]

They were cheap!

[ There's a reason, to tide him over for now-- Here's a sock shoved into his hands, he looks like he's better equipped than Kano is, who's just been picking up the stunned ones after Ellie smacks them.

Gross gross gross ]

[suddenlybees]

Nothing.

[ They did nothing? Just two good samaritans corralling some 500 crickets. ]

Your reflexes look good, though...! Amazing! Have you ever played soccer— or football? How 'bout you guard the doorway and play goalie for us?

[made_up_names]

[ Inevitably, there will be a cricket on his face. Please feel free to smack him at some point.

Also, he can snag them if they jump past him courtesy of his reflexes. It's just. There's so many, and his senses are so confused. ]

That's what those are? Why are they even here?

[made_up_names]

[ (x) to doubt ]

I - uh - nope, neither of those things, but I can try?

[ Mostly because it helps him focus. He's still twitching as he heads for the door, catching a cricket or two as he goes. ]

i

[playitagain]

[The scream from next door may answer where some of them went.

It's not that Nana is afraid of bugs. There's a startled noise, though; a crash, too, as she drops something. And then loud and just slightly furious (sorry, Imelda), comes Nana's ordinarily clear, beautiful, melodious voice:]

MY BANANA BREAD!

[...there's another crash.]

[spelleton]

Well, I suppose that's one reason. [ Kids.... ] One can only hope your curiosity is satisfied for the moment.

[ He makes a slightly exasperated noise as a cricket bounces off his head and raises a hand. Several bandages unwind and launch out from under his sleeve, snapping out in different directions and snatching crickets out of the air. ]

You may need bigger containers. [ Still, he's just...dumping all those in the sock and letting those bandages slide back under his clothing. Might as well use what he has while he has it. ] Perhaps some kind of aquarium, if you want them alive.

[elliexir]

[ ellie will occasionally swat the "annoying" crickets while bagging (socking?) the rest. it's okay if they don't get all 500. they can get 400 live crickets and 100 squashed ones. ]

Oh, man, yeah! It'd be cool if you had some extra containers.

[ because ellie's going to need her socks eventually. ]

[suddenlybees]

[ x ]

Good, good~ The second most important thing is trying!

[ The most important thing is not letting any of these escape, but this is implied. ]

Don't let any of them escape, alright? They absolute, can not make it up to the third floor!

[elliexir]

[ she will absolutely smack him at one point. also, thanks, dude, for catching a few. ellie pulls out an extra sock from her pocket and hands it over to peter. please shove those crickets in here. ]

Uh... they flew in?

[ ... does that sound convincing? ]

[suddenlybees]

[ Oops? What's going on in there, Nana?

Kano runs over to the door, forgoing knocking and just turning the handle to see if the door is open-- ]

What happened?! I'm here to save the banana bread!!

[elliexir]

[ this is the beginning of the cricket apocalypse. this is when ellie is still panicking about everything so when she hears that crash and the mourning cry of someone's banana bread, she chooses to answer instead of running off. ]

... uh, sorry about your banana bread!

[ she screams through the door/wall ]

[suddenlybees]

[ Whoa— it's not often he gets to see Ekkehardt in action bandaging up something other than cuts and scrapes and wounds, but there's hardly any time to marvel about it when another cricket jumps at Kano's face and he ducks to avoid it. ]

Aquariums are kinda hard to lug around... [ Hence the socks, one of which he holds up by his face and shakes. Crickets chirp inside. ]

But that's not a bad idea at all, for a later time! For now, those bandages might work. There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, and those come close!

[spelleton]

Let me just...get those, then. [ Heading off to his room and oh my god there are so many crickets, how many crickets did you order--

He returns very quickly with boxes of various sizes. He'd used them to move some of his belongings at the start of the new year, but now they are getting repurposed for the higher calling of Storing Lots of Live Insects.

He swats a cricket out of the air almost absentmindedly as he sets the box down and it lands somewhere on the floor, briefly stunned. ]

So what will you do with these once they're contained? I assume you didn't suddenly feel a desire to keep a sizeable amount of crickets as pets.

[ Are they feeding another pet, is that it ]

and now this is for us - prompt i

[elliexir]

[ after the crickets are released into the hell that is literally everywhere, ellie just stands there with her switchblade, stares at the bugs all over their room and then back at kano. ]

... not it.

[ she's totally not taking the blame for this ]

[suddenlybees]

[ You can't just shift the blame like that, Ellie!!!!! Except, Kano is in no position to argue, because Ellie is the one with the knife. ]

I don't want to be it either!!! Where's that lizard you said was around here?!

[ are there even lizards in France? in the dead of winter?? wake up from hibernation and feast, lizardy friends ]

[made_up_names]

[ He eyes the sock, but. Uh. It's not like he has any better ideas? He drops the ones he caught in there. ]

Does France even have crickets?

[ He's half convinced??? ]

[made_up_names]

Is that because of the music ban? ... Do crickets count for that?

[ That might be a reason to let them go, actually... ]

[elliexir]

[ while he runs off, ellie does her best to keep cricket-armageddon under control. she's running out of space in her sock! but luckily, ekkehardt seems to come back soon afterwards and she dumps all the bugs from her sock into it. okay, hopefully, they'll stay there while she shoves some more into the now-empty sock. ]

Uh, well... I guess we'll figure it out after we get them all? Haha...

[ translation: i have no fucking idea what we'd do ]

[suddenlybees]

—music ban?

[ Ahh, the infamous music ban, word of the injustice sure travels quickly. ]

Mm~ It's tangentially related, I guess? It wouldn't do if Imelda banned them, banishing them out into the cold! How heartless that would be!

[spelleton]

If you have any duct tape, you could try using it as flypaper. Some of them are bound to land there and get stuck.

[ He does have plenty of bandages on him - he's learned to keep his pockets full - but this isn't exactly a scenario he ever envisioned using them for. But life is full of surprises, apparently. ]

There's probably still some boxes lying around from other students moving in and out. [ It's the start of the year, after all. ] It might be a good idea to find those so you have something bigger than your socks.

After all, I think you'll probably need those later...? [ He sounds vaguely amused as he indicates the socks. ] I can handle things here for now.

[ He shakes out a roll of bandages casually and gets to work. Unlike the ones under his clothing, these are entirely unmagical, so him rolling them up successfully and creating a growing, mildly unsettling bandage wad of crickets is due to good reflexes more than anything else.

Kano should probably go find those boxes now. ]