plague upon the world (it's these two gremlins)

[suddenlybees]

WHO: Ellie, Kano, and you~
WHERE: Lumière dorms, around campus
WHEN: first week of school
WHAT: crickets!!!
WARNINGS: crickets... nothing else foreseen, but will edit if necessary!
NOTES: this is a joint post with Ellie and Kano, so you might be tagged back by either of them or both, please let us know if you have a preference!

i. Lumière Dormitory lobby
[ Twenty centimeters isn't a lot. The length of the box's edge just barely exceeds the length of Kano's palm as he carries his package into the dorms, giving it a little shake next to his ear but unable to hear anything inside. The box is pretty light, too... maybe they got scammed?

The only way to find out is to open the box, and Ellie's right there to stab her switchblade into the top of the box and pull down sharply to cut open the box—-

Do you know how many crickets fit inside a 20x20x20 cm box? Originally, around 500.

Now, there's only a couple dozen left, and dwindling every passing second the two of them stare at the plague they've unleashed upon the dorm. ]

ii. cricket wrangling, inside and around the dorm
[ You learn to stop screaming real quick when every time you open your mouth, you find a cricket or two inside, so it's masks on and sleeves pushed up like this isn't shady at all, haha, this isn't their fault. Anyways, stand there, right there, and DON'T. MOVE. Just stay still while the two of them... well, it's no butterfly net, but they've got fly swatters and two socks full of crickets that they can tie off when they're full and— ]

I SAID DON'T MOVE!!

[ If you get smacked in the face, you've already gotten fair warning, now take off your socks and make yourself useful. ]

iii. on the waaaaay other side of campus
[ They pretend they have nothing to do with the fact that an exterminator is being called to exorcise the dorms. They have nothing to do with that? They've been here the entire time, camped out in front of one of the buildings with their little stall— a table dragged out from somewhere, two folding chairs, a sign leaning against the front of the table reading:

€1 EACH
IF YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT
IF IT TOUCHES YOU, YOU BUY IT
NO REFUNDS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO THE 7 SEVENS

[ and a megaphone that's a mistake to allow in Kano's hands as he shouts right into it. ]

Crepes! Get your crepes here~! Chocolate clusters and liquid luck! There's a surprise in every bite! Purchase one of each and receive a complimentary ~*~*mystery box*~*~! What a deal! Don't pass this chance up!!

[ The ~*~*~mystery boxes*~*~ are packed up nice and neat on one end of the table, with the rest of it being a spread of little chocolate drops on a tray (they twitch once in a while, but ignore that), several dozen bottles of something dark brown (the liquid sloshes around once in a while, but ignore that), and Ellie currently taking her turn at working the crepe station, once in a while sprinkling in some of the """secret ingredient""" (some of which might escape and leap onto your face and chirp, but iGNORE THAT) ]

wc.
[ For anything else, ping northpaws or birdseed! ]

Comments

ii, no prefs

[spelleton]

[ Oh my god he just got back to the dorm what have you children done.

He does follow instructions and doesn't move, but he also just kind of snatches a cricket merrily leaping away to freedom out of reflex.

And then another, before he consciously stops himself. He's supposed to be a doctor, he probably shouldn't be falling into trained patterns around small, fast-moving objects. ]

...And why did you need this many crickets, pray tell? [ He sounds mildly long-suffering. ]

[elliexir]

[ here comes ellie, with her sock, flyswatter, and mask. she absolutely smacks ekkehardt on the arm when a cricket lands on it. have fun with cricket guts on your arm now, dude. ]

What makes you think that they're ours?

[suddenlybees]

[ There was a reason, but maybe not a good reason, depending on who you ask. It's not important right now, though!!! ]

They were cheap!

[ There's a reason, to tide him over for now-- Here's a sock shoved into his hands, he looks like he's better equipped than Kano is, who's just been picking up the stunned ones after Ellie smacks them.

Gross gross gross ]

II

[made_up_names]

[ Do you want to know what sets off spider-senses really badly? Like, constantly? And confusingly?

Did you guess almost 500 escaped crickets? If so, good job, well done. Peter is - trying to hold still, but he can't, because oh my god he can sense all these little buggers around him. His spider senses are supposed to warn him about danger, but. Well. Sometimes it gets confused. Every time one of these goddamn crickets so much as twitch, he gets a tiny little ping in the back of his head. But there's so many he can't actually pinpoint where the hell they are, which just means he just sort of keeps turning around and making a face ]

What - what the heck did you do? What is that?

[elliexir]

[ don't worry, peter, ellie will get all those crickets off you! by picking them up and shoving them into the sock, though she might smack him right on the face if one jumps on his forehead or something... ]

Crickets. [ she says in a matter-of-fact way. ] A buttload of them.

[suddenlybees]

Nothing.

[ They did nothing? Just two good samaritans corralling some 500 crickets. ]

Your reflexes look good, though...! Amazing! Have you ever played soccer— or football? How 'bout you guard the doorway and play goalie for us?

i

[playitagain]

[The scream from next door may answer where some of them went.

It's not that Nana is afraid of bugs. There's a startled noise, though; a crash, too, as she drops something. And then loud and just slightly furious (sorry, Imelda), comes Nana's ordinarily clear, beautiful, melodious voice:]

MY BANANA BREAD!

[...there's another crash.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Oops? What's going on in there, Nana?

Kano runs over to the door, forgoing knocking and just turning the handle to see if the door is open-- ]

What happened?! I'm here to save the banana bread!!

[elliexir]

[ this is the beginning of the cricket apocalypse. this is when ellie is still panicking about everything so when she hears that crash and the mourning cry of someone's banana bread, she chooses to answer instead of running off. ]

... uh, sorry about your banana bread!

[ she screams through the door/wall ]

and now this is for us - prompt i

[elliexir]

[ after the crickets are released into the hell that is literally everywhere, ellie just stands there with her switchblade, stares at the bugs all over their room and then back at kano. ]

... not it.

[ she's totally not taking the blame for this ]

[suddenlybees]

[ You can't just shift the blame like that, Ellie!!!!! Except, Kano is in no position to argue, because Ellie is the one with the knife. ]

I don't want to be it either!!! Where's that lizard you said was around here?!

[ are there even lizards in France? in the dead of winter?? wake up from hibernation and feast, lizardy friends ]

iii

[whatsupdanger]

[Miles bought a crepe in the name of teenage appetite and also in the name of comedy.]

Mmph--that's crunchy. What's in this?

[elliexir]

[ poor miles... ellie doesn't know if she has the heart to tell him what's in it. ]

Oh, you know... typical stuff that goes in crepes?

[suddenlybees]

[ WONDERFUL, Kano is delighted they even had one customer. 1/14 euros have been paid back. ]

It's a surprise~ Only the highest quality, natural ingredients were used, so you should be able to pick out what they are by taste alone~ Tell me, what do you taste? Concentrate hard!

i

[deuteranope]

-- uh, hold that fucking thought, Mama, I gotta go, there's fucking bugs everywhere. What? No! There's fucking -- bye.

[He's not listening to his mom sass him anymore, he's hanging up and leaning on the handrail of the stairs to watch this chaos. Maybe getting a picture so he has proof he wasn't lying.]

I dunno what the hell you were doing? But you fucked up.

[thank you, mav.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Thanks, Mav, that's helpful!! ]

Mav! My dear friend! Thank goodness you're here~!

[ Kano abandons the cricket wrangling to Ellie and trots up the stairs, arms wide open like they're old friends. Buddy! Pal!! help ]

We need an extra pair of socks! The ones we have are getting full up!

[elliexir]

[ ellie still doesn't have a great opinion of this guy but she can't exactly yell at him right now because these fucking crickets are everywhere. so, instead of actually saying anything back, she just decides to flip him the bird. ]

[ yep ]

Ii

[hippocarnival]

[Yuya was gonna be on his way to the next floor up, but the screaming demands not to move halts him mid-step--and then he's balancing preciously on one foot whole his book back starts to slide off his shoulder.

In impulsive panic he starts speaking out Japanese instead.] What? What's wrong?!

[He is answered by a cricket handing on his face, and he moves to smack it off.]

[suddenlybees]

[ —Japanese is a throwback, a language Kano rarely hears after growing up in America and then being shipped out to France, but it's easy for him to slip back into the native tongue, bounding up to Yuya and catching his wrist. ]

Nothing's wrong! Everything's okay~ Please don't move~!

[ Just stand like that... mid-step... He starts to laugh, though, terribly amused by the fact that Yuya had immediately froze when ordered to, a good boy. ]

[elliexir]

[ having two older siblings who are japanese meant that ellie has picked up a bit of japanese here and there. nothing that will make her fluent enough to actually have a conversation but she knows a few words, so she at least understands that "what". she replies back in english as she starts to charge at him, flyswatter held up high in the air. ]

Hold! Still!

[ and now here comes a flyswatter to the face. sorry, yuya. ]

iii, gimme both??

[punshots]

[ And right on time, here's a total sucker passing by, catching that sales pitch and wheeling right back around like he's been hooked by a fishing line. At this point, Prompto should maybe have learned to be a bit wary of Kano, but no, he sure hasn't! He was hooked at the mention of liquid luck. That's a thing, right? This is a magic school. It's totally a thing, and he wants some. ]

Whaaaaaaat was that about liquid luck? Can it help me do better on tests? Will my shoelaces stop weirdly getting tied together?

[ ...He lowers his voice conspiratorially, but he's still basically shouting. ]

Can it help me score some points with the ladies?

[ He is here for this. ]

[suddenlybees]

Absolutely~!!

[ He makes the promise with no hesitation, pulling together not one but three bottles towards Prompto, because if they're going to sell all these bottles, he should try to pawn as many as he can off on who's possibly the one person in the entire school who would buy them. ]

It can do all of that and more! All you have to do is drink an entire bottle all in one go, and your luck will skyrocket for the next twenty-four hours!! It's a rare find, a limited edition item, so make sure to stock up while you can~!

Ren and Hibiki, ii

[prisoneroffate]

[Well, Ren was TRYING to get his coffee station set up. And then crickets. That's OK, it's cool, he has this.]

Hibiki. The time for you to earn your beverages is at hand. Eliminate the bugs while I finish my work.

[shinetagonist]

... do I look like an exterminator to you?

I!

[betheman]

[The sound of crickets is definitely not something Gongenzaka expects to hear outside in the hall when he prepares to go for one of his usual jogs. What is Especially not expected however, is the sound of a CRUNCH the minute he steps out of his room, and into the hall, in his geta.

Gongenzaka slowly looks down. And looks back up, and down the hall.

Ah.] AUH...

[AH....] Wh-

Where did these insects come from!? [He exclaims in Japanese.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Japanese—- Kano ducks outside to find Gon there, and seeing the guts on the ground and Gon shouting about insects, he can put two and two together.

aka he drops to his knees and hides his face in his hands and starts fake!sobbing. ]

Hana-chan...! Is that you?! Please, say something! Who did this to you!!> Murderer!!!

iii (Post coffee thread)

[shinetagonist]

[Hibiki's spent enough time hunting bugs with Byakko before the exterminator was called to know EXACTLY what those wiggling things are. He stares, pondering his options.

Risk: Eating bugs. They're probably store bought though, so safe to eat.

Reward: Assert dominance on new kids.]

...I'll take a crepe.

[suddenlybees]

[ They're store-bought but they've been everywhere around the dorms at this point and Ellie's the one cooking them, so ??? safety is questionable.

But it's fine! Probably! Kano wraps up one of the finished crepes and hands it over with a smile. ]

Here you are~ That'll be one euro, please!

ii, wow i'm late wish i jumped on this sooner

[tiredcharmer]

When the aspiring cricket catcher bust into Room 105 in search of the rambunctious insects, they find... absolutely no crickets. Instead, there are at least a dozen scorchmarks tinged with blue and crackling with teal lightning on the floor, wall, and even ceiling, each at least a handslength wide. Tyzias herself is growling under her breath as she munches on some chocolate-covered popcorn over her desk, automail arm inscribing a few pieces of metal with runes. She glares daggers at whoever entered. "Fuck off, I'm working." Then she takes a closer look at them. "Oh, so you're the shithead who let the crickets into my room."

[suddenlybees]

[ Whoa— maybe he should take Tyzias' advice and fuck off, because Kano could have sworn he saw a couple of crickets spring into the room and now they appear to have been incinerated? Hmm. Dangerous. ]

Aha... No way, why would you think I let them in? They're pretty small, see? And with the gap under the doors, why, they could have slipped right in!