the best defense is literally any defense at all

[spelleton]

Who: Ekkehardt, OTA
What: Addressing a perceived deficiency in the current curriculum
Where: An empty classroom
When: 14th-20th
Warnings: Nothing should come up but I'll change the header if it does.
Notes: I'll match you!



A.

[ You might find Ekkehardt out of the infirmary for once, tacking up a few posters here and there where students frequent. They're nondescript and not meant to be particularly noticeable. They provide relevant information about an unofficial self defense class.

The only particularly interesting part (besides Ekkehardt breaking his own routine) is that he's clearly specified that this class is explicitly for noncombatants. ]

B. Introduction

[ Upon reaching the classroom, Ekkehardt is sitting at the teacher's desk with his hands free, for once. There's a selection of various weapons - wooden ones, foam ones, some that are clearly for historical re-enactment - and implements (is that an umbrella?) laid out on the front row of desks. All in good condition (some are practically untouched).

He shows no signs of picking them up, or what they're going to be used for.

When students walk in, he simply nods at them in greeting. The only thing he really says is: ]

Do you have any questions before class starts?

C. Ekkehardt what (Practicals, part 1)

[ After he's deemed there's a reasonable amount of attendance, he stands up and indicates the weapons in all their mismatched glory. ]

All right. Here is the subject of today's class.

One at a time, you'll face off against me. I will have a weapon - you may choose it, if you like. You, on the other hand, will be unarmed.

Your objective is to stop me from touching you with the weapon. Otherwise, I win.

D. NO, REALLY, WHAT (Practicals, part 2)

[ When class is over, he indicates the selection of implements on the desk once more. ]

For the second part of this class, I want you to take one of these with you. Return them to me once you've completed the secondary task - which many of you will find vastly more entertaining, I'm sure.

[ He smiles, faintly. ]

Your objective is to touch or hit me with your weapon of choice. If you can do that, you win. And remember - you don't have to fight me. It's ideal if you do not.

You just need that weapon to make contact with me.

[ Over the next few days, Ekkehardt will be going about his business as usual. If you see him getting assaulted by various students wielding various weapons, he doesn't seem to mind at all.

In fact, he seems to be kind of enjoying it, in a weird way?? ]

E. Wildcard

[ Did you come here to see Ekkehardt teach for once and not be a fusspot in the infirmary? Are you just curious about what a self-defense class for noncombatants entails? Literally anything else? Hit me I'll roll with it. ]

Comments

[unpocoloco]

At least they can both internally lament together. Or be amused, in Ekkehardt's case.

"Alright, well first thing, I'm going to pretend that wasn't just a little bit nerve wracking hearing you make that somewhat ominous statement with the steepling fingers there, Second... I'm in. "

In and ready to make a fool of himself. "Show me, Maestro, how to run away."

He'll just... go brace himself for the lesson then...

[spelleton]

Ekkehardt just smiles. This does not do anything to make things even slightly more reassuring.

Especially when he introduces what the lesson is.

"Feeling any more prepared to run away, Héctor?" He's leaning slightly against the teacher's desk like this is just another day for him. His voice is light.

[unpocoloco]

"Me? I-" Yes. Dios yes. He'd like to run from this right now and maybe a few other responsibilities he's forcing himself into along the way.

He forces a smile. "Ready as I'll ever be," He says. "Do you want to choose the weapon?" Because he'll either make things too easy for himself or somehow, surely, choose the most nightmarish thing possible.

He's standing straight, taking a breath and shaking out his limbs. Okay, okay, he can do this. He gives himself a little boost with his magic, just so his body holds up. There's a slight bounce to his feet.

[spelleton]

He hmms and deliberates and selects a foam sword, like a novelty you'd get from an arcade. It looks a bit ridiculous, to be honest; it's colourful and slightly oversized. The handle is a cheerful-bordering-on-garish green.

Then he sweeps low with it, aiming for the other man's legs rather than his body.

[unpocoloco]

Oh! A foam sword! Bright and visible, that should be easy, he thinks, like a damn fool. He even raises his fists, making it clear exactly what's inspired his bouncing motion as if he, of all people, could ever possibly box. So of course. Of course Ekkehardt goes for his legs.

It's not that a foam sword in itself is enough to topple him, but trying to jump up, too late, mid-bounce, well it just naturally lends itself to him tripping over his own limbs.

He always hits the ground harder than he expects to. It's amazing the difference flesh and all that stuff have as opposed to bone in terms of wait. Still, he's far more embarrassed than hurt if the reddening of his face is any indication.

"Stupid," He mutters to himself. "That was stupid." He's going to climb to his feet now. If Ekkehardt's intending to let him.

[spelleton]

He waits for the other man to get to his feet before he tries anything else. It's a learning exercise, after all, and he doubts he can be a better teacher than embarrassment.

"I wouldn't recommend trying to fistfight an edged weapon," he just says, mildly, before he takes another few swipes at Héctor - stomach height, then 'cutting' towards his legs once more. Deliberately not trying to strike for his arms, or places that he could raise his hands to deflect or defend himself.

[unpocoloco]

He flushes further, muttering, "Well, no, but you always see those guys dodge real quick like-" That. He doesn't finish his thought. They're in the middle of something, which is to say, he's curving back at the first slash at his middle, then quickly trying to walk backwards out of every swipe after. God he's too-- wait.

His eyes light with an idea, then his markings light too. He can't fully shift here in an open classroom but partials? He can manage partials. No one will notice if it's split moments in time, hidden by clothing, but he'll certainly notice the lightening weight of his own body.

At the second swipe of his legs, he drops, but purposefully this time, falling to his palms. He laughs, victorious, then pushes back up. He lurches a little with his own imbalanced form, but he gets to his feet with a crooked grin.

[spelleton]

He's learning, which is good, and earns him a brief nod of approval. He doesn't point out that he could have gone for a downward stab and gotten him that way, though he was briefly tempted.

So, instead, he pushes forward and makes his swipes more aggressive, aiming to drive Héctor into a corner where he can't dodge nearly as easily.

[unpocoloco]

There's a good second of a further brightening grin when he gets that look of approval. And then it slips as Ekkehardt speeds up.

He ducks and spins, a sort of dance without music but where he hasn't at all the same ease. It occurs a second too late to escape that he's caught now. He's got one idea left but it's not something he's tried before without splitting apart-- something he can't do here. A nervous grimace settling upon him, he braces, runs in, then lunges.

His hands fall upon Ekkehardt's shoulders, magic working so that he's as much a skeleton as he can risk here, hopefully making that leap right over top.

But whether he makes it or not, next comes the bit he didn't account for; if he's not split in two while he's jumping over, he's not going to "land" already on his feet. Gracelessly, he's hitting the ground again.

[spelleton]

The leap forward and over him surprises him; he lets the other man see that brief surprise on his face. He's earned it, for such a bold move.

He recovers quickly, sword sweeping around in an arc, a reasonable imitation of an actual swordsman. If Héctor doesn't move out of the way - rolling, crawling or something else - he'll be tapped by it, lightly.

[unpocoloco]

He grimaces, pushing up from the ground. He catches sight of Ekkehardt's spin and he certainly tries to roll out of the way. Not fast enough.

The swords taps him despite his attempt. He sighs and slumps to stillness, power working to restore.

"... Well... I tried."

[spelleton]

"It was a good attempt for someone who's not used to combat," Ekkehardt says sympathetically, flipping the sword up into the air and catching it. "You can try again, if you like. You have plenty to use, even if you're unarmed."

He smiles. "There's more than one way of getting the drop on your opponent. I intend to teach you a few tricks, in this class. But I'd prefer that you came to the conclusions yourself, first."

[unpocoloco]

Plenty to use even if he's unarmed...? What does that mean? He's certainly giving Ekkehardt a look for it.

As for his own conclusions... "What, like, magic? There's really no time to draw runes in things like this and spells really wear me out. I'm not made for that stuff." He sits up, grunting a little as he rises up. Dios, he's not made for any stuff.

[spelleton]

"If you wanted to learn magic, there are better teachers than me," he states, neutrally. He nudges a chair in front of him, leaning on it.

"I was speaking of the environment," he continues, gesturing at the chair. "This can be a shield, or an obstacle. If this was a real sword, cutting this-" and he taps it with the toy, "-would be a vastly better outcome than cutting you. My weapon could become stuck, or even break. At the very least, you've slowed me down."

He watches the other man, intent. "Do you understand what I mean?"

[unpocoloco]

He doesn't disagree there. Even if Ekkehardt does have a talent there (and he doesn't actually know), there's significantly powerful teachers who specialize in all that.

He watches and listens. Then ultimately has to nod.

"Sí. I understand." He needs to be more resourceful. Not just with himself. "I'd like to try again, in that case, por favor."