daybreakacademy | ✮ open/closed ✮

Entry tags:

✮ open/closed ✮

WHO: Toki, Adelaide, Nekane, Tsunade, + open
WHERE: various locations
WHEN: June (dates are arbitrary)
WHAT: friend date, conspiracy theories, therapy, shopping, confusion, Unchained/Rampage Plot (prompt 6)
WARNINGS: ***suicide attempt in prompt 6***, mental illness discussion, potential RNG seizure visions

CLOSED PROMPTS:

1; {Adelaide} - June 2nd, Aube 403

[Toki should have prearranged this, perhaps, but spur of the moment has always been more his speed. He carries a large basket, covered with a cloth, as well as a small cooler. He sets them down in the hallway outside Aube 403. It's late afternoon; it wouldn't do to take a vampire out during the middle of the day. Hopefully Adelaide has no plans for the evening; at least it's the weekend and she shouldn't have a class. He knocks on the door loudly.]

Adelaide~!

2; {Nekane} - June 4th, Nekane's office

[Toki has gathered all of his vision records. Three notebooks that were kept for the sole purpose of vision documentation, two notebooks generally used for classes that have vision notes interspersed throughout, printouts of old text files and sent messages, and a folder of printed photographs documenting other places he's written or drawn vision related information. There may some things missing that he'd completely forgotten about, but it's a thorough, if somewhat incomprehensible, record. As per faculty suggestion, he's come to Nekane's office to discuss his apparent misinterpretations and "conspiracies". He hesitantly knocks on the office door with no enthusiasm.]

3; {Tsunade} - June 17th, Tsunade's office
Also open to Ekkehardt, Hieke, and Lin, as any staff members who received this information are welcome to run with it for a wildcard option.

[As recommended by the faculty, Toki's mandatory therapy component of his disciplinary action verdict has been outsourced. The therapists on staff at the academy found themselves ill-equipped to provide sufficient care to the extent that was needed. Toki has been seeing a psychologist (Dr. Louise Katzenberg) and a psychiatrist (Dr. Etienne LeBlanc) at the hospital in Soleil. Sessions have been long and numerous, and he experienced several breakdowns while in their offices; something which did not work in his favor, and he has been kept at the hospital overnight on more than one occasion. After a thorough review of past behavioral accounts provided, and personal interactions and observations, a tentative diagnosis of several co-morbid illnesses has been recorded, and recommendations made in accordance. This information is now being shared with the academy therapists, counselors, and medical staff.

The doctors have made their diagnoses as follows:
paranoid schizophrenia
panic disorder
dissociative identity disorder spectrum
acute episodes of psychosis and mania

They believe Toki is a danger to himself and others in no uncertain terms. They feel his poor decisions and life choices stem from consistent incorrect perceptions of persecution and suspicion, that his impulsiveness and pressured speech are manifestations of a constant internal state of panic and anxiety. Though he has shown no distinct separate personality, they suggest it is only inevitable with his level of dissociation from reality and should be dealt with before there is a complete break in his psyche. They have noted repeated instances of brief psychosis and manic displays, and believe these can be significantly curbed with correct medications and continued psychotherapy. Behavioral correction is discussed as a future treatment should he make sufficient improvement.

Seven medications have been listed and prescribed. Six from the categories of anti-psychotics, sedatives, and mood stabilizers; the combination of which has been determined to have the least potential for negative interaction with each other. The seventh is an anti-convulsive for frequent seizure activity. Further recommendations include: the use of physical restraints and/or tranquilizers during any periods of acute psychosis and mania in which there is concern for safety, as well as consideration of a wheelchair should seizures remain uncontrolled with medication. Medications are to be left in the academy infirmary, as the doctors feel Toki is not capable of keeping a schedule, nor do they think he will comply if given any choice in the matter. There is a note beside this section in the report which states the academy should pursue legal action to declare Toki incompetent and thus restrict any medical and legal say he may have in the future. They have contacted his parents, who were unaware of his presence at the school, and were adamant that they were not his guardians and it was not their problem.

Toki was allowed to see the report, and he disagreed with the majority of it; absolutely livid by the time he finished reading it, even though he didn't completely understand everything. It resulted in screaming and accusations, which the doctors used as an example of paranoia and made a note of his reaction in an addendum, along with a statement that there is a place for him in the psychiatric wing of the hospital should the academy choose to leave his treatment solely to them.

Now, Toki's back at the academy after the report has been distributed. He waits impatiently in the comfortable chair in Tsunade's office while she reads through it all. It's taking all of his concentration not to scream.]

OPEN PROMPTS:

4; Network - June 3rd

hello~! as prom is approaching
i have an announcement!
if you can't find what you want at the market
and can't afford to shop elsewhere,
please contact me!
i'm organizing a shopping outing for those who are interested!
fully funded!

5; Quad - June 24th

[Around mid-day, Toki wanders the courtyard in the quad. He doesn't know where he's going, and only has a vague sense of where he came from. His jeans are covered in dirt and grass stains. His bare feet are also dirty, and bleeding in some places. He has no shirt on; his collarbones and ribs very prominent and his skin pale enough to be somewhat translucent in places. He's covered in scratches, some small and some longer; most are shallow, but a few bleed. Down the sides of both arms and across his abdomen are sloppy drawings in black marker; all of them either eyes by themselves or the Herald's face with vague and incomplete expressions. The occasional "It's watching!" or "They're coming!" is scrawled in Japanese along side the images. Dirt is caked under his fingernails and a couple of them are jagged and torn. He waves and smiles at anyone who passes by. There is nothing wrong here.]

6; Legionnaire Quarters - Pool - June 30th
***cw: suicide (unchained plot)***

[He's not allowed to swim, and he's never had the desire to do so here, but for some reason Toki enters the Legionnaire Quarters today and heads directly for the pool. He's completely dressed, did not bring a bathing suit, and has no intention of using the pool for recreation. He has another purpose. Today, it all became too much for him and he snapped; not a breakdown so much as an epiphany; a euphoria achieved once he made this decision. Escape. An end to it all. No more suffering.

He says nothing to anyone on his way through the building. He doesn't wave or smile at people around; doesn't seem to notice them. They don't matter. Nothing matters but this. Entering the room housing the Olympic sized swimming pool, Toki continues to take no notice of anyone in the vicinity. He strides directly the pool and jumps in. Expelling all the air in his lungs, he sinks to the bottom to sit there, almost peacefully. There's no conscious hesitation as he inhales the water, only the body's physical reaction of trying to save itself from death; choking and gasping and only bringing in more water. His lungs burn and then he feels nothing.]

7; Wildcard
Anything, anywhere~! Start something or plot on plurk (gratisfaction) or discord (snaretactics#6762).

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nope.

[ Toki. does. not. get. to. touch.

Kido holds the camera close, adjusting the camera strap a little so that it doesn't thump against her chest when she walks. ]

I spoke with that student, and the stipulation was that I take the pictures. He'll develop them for us too, but we need to be back within the hour, so let's go.

[Well, that technically makes less work for Toki and he doesn't have to learn how to develop photos. He caps the marker and puts it away. He starts rolling his pant leg back down, but stops halfway to stare blankly for about three minutes. Like a vision he'd had once before, what he sees amounts to nothing but lightning like flashes of color and reddish purple afterimages. When it's over, he's not exactly sure what's going on or how he got here.]

What were we doing?

He looks at Kido like he's never seen her before.]

[ Toki will wake up to see that he's on the ground, probably because he'd fallen, but it's with Kido's jacket folded up and placed under his head. She takes it back as soon as he gets up, Kido herself crouched beside him without much surprise or concern on her face, camera cradled in her lap. ]

We went downstairs at Theater Lenormand, to borrow a camera.

[ She taps a finger on the camera in her lap, to bring his attention over to it. ]

You fell and were unresponsive for several minutes. Does anything hurt?

No.

[He checks to make sure he isn't bleeding anywhere or anything, and then takes notice of all the eyes. Holy shit.]

Did you uhh... see me do this? Do you know why? I mean, I know why I guess, but...

[He curls in on himself a little and backs up against the wall. This is not good at all. The basement of the theatre building is nowhere he would ever go. Who is this girl? Why did they need a camera?]

[ Those other questions are ones Toki should ask, so Kido knows to answer them, but she does her best to answer what she can, voice soft and low and quiet. ]

No, I didn't see you do it. But you told me before, that you drew them in the woods, too. You wanted photographic evidence of that, I believe... Did something happen in the woods?

[The woods... Nothing comes to him.]

I don't remember.

[And saying that out loud makes him start crying, burying his face in his hands. He didn't think this would happen again.]

[ NO...... Kano thought he was doing so well, but then Toki starts crying and he starts panicking, reaching out to pat Toki on the head but then thinking better of it and pulling his hand back before he can do so. ]

Hey, hey... It's okay, it's normal to be confused after something like this. You went through something pretty stressful, after all.

[ Uh... what next... If Kido were Kano, this is where he would drag Toki to the bathroom to wash his face like he did before, or at least try to get up upstairs into the sunlight so he can... not cry in front of other people? Kano hates crying in front of other people, and that would be the way to make him stop, but he's also not Toki and the same won't work for him. ]

H-how do you want me to help you?

[Kano is right, and Toki doesn't care that he's crying in front of people; even a girl he doesn't know. But this isn't her problem. He can't drag any more people into his mess of a life. He just waves vaguely at the stairs. Just go, Kido. He'll leave the basement eventually.]

You can't.

[ That makes him frown, a flare of anger he struggles to keep down. Because god does that make him angry— it makes him angry because Maya was right: Toki is too much like him, he deals with things too much like Kano, who doesn't believe he can be helped and refuses to let anybody try.

But he's told them this too, his friends. He told them that it doesn't matter if he doesn't want him; if they think he needs it, they shouldn't care what he wants and give him what he needs.

So he remains crouched there, numbs himself so he wouldn't start crying too, and wraps his arms around Toki, pulling him into a hug. ]

[He can't help but hug Kido back, even though he wishes she left. It's a small comfort, but the whole situation is absurd here. He's crying with some strange girl in a basement. Had drawn eyes and scrawling words all over himself, been somewhere in the woods that got dirt everywhere, and he doesn't remember doing any of it.

He's tried so hard, and he maybe resisted a little, but he'd done what's been asked of him the best he can. And still everything's fallen apart. There's something fundamentally wrong with him; something he can't fix. Maverick was right; he is insane. The realization, the admission of that, is too much and whatever drive he had left to do anything is gone.]

You can leave now.

[So he can draw eyes on the walls or scratch them into the floor with broken fingernails.]

[ He can't tell at all if it helps. Hugs don't really help Kano either, not unless it's somebody he yearns to be with- his mother, Ellie- but this is different and strange and his hugs are stiff and awkward in the end, not wanting to pull away until Toki gets all he can out of it. Which is not much, if anything, because Toki just dismisses him all the same.

Letting go and sitting back, Kido doesn't say anything right away, not really sure what to say. He doesn't know how to help Toki. But he wants to do something, so- ]

Can I take a picture first? Of you and me.

If you want to... You should take pictures of things that make you happy, or you want to remember.

[It's good advice, and Kido should not want to remember this. He forces a smile for her, because you should smile in pictures.]

[ It's good advice, and one Kano remembers saying all the time too. Take pictures of things that make you happy, remember only the things that make you happy. ]

This is both. The flash is going to go off, since it's dark down here, so try not to blink.

[ She doesn't smile as she unloops the camera from around her neck and raises it in front of them. ]

On three. One. Two. Three. [ It's a blinding flash and Kano remembers how he hates cameras. ]

[Toki has a momentary flashback to the orichalcum mine where the flash of his camera was far too bright. He may have blinked a little, but really, this is not going to be a good picture anyway. When she's done, he addresses her comment.]

Why is it both?

[He can't imagine some weird kid covered in marker makes her happy. Unless she thinks its funny, which yeah, he probably looks ridiculous.]

[ It's more sad than anything, but Kano's happy he gets to hang out with Toki again. This isn't something he can say outloud, so Kido just shrugs, slinging the camera back over her chest because she was promised an hour with it and even without Toki she's going to use the full hour. ]

It's just both. Do I need a reason to feel happy, or want to remember this?

[Toki thinks very hard about that. He thought you needed a reason; that happiness was something only achieved under the right conditions that he has yet to find. That any time he thought maybe that he was happy, it was wrong because he couldn't explain why. There was no reason for it. So that was wrong.]

I think... I think you're supposed to have a reason?

[He picks at the dirt under his fingernails.]

I wouldn't be the person to ask.

I'm not really the person to ask, either, [ she replies, because she's not. Happiness never sticks, and Kano's never identified with it as a state of being before either. Something more of an ideal than a reality; he knows what it looks like but not how to feel it. Smiling and laughing are supposed to mean you're happy. Sugary food and drinks are supposed to make you happy. If everybody else around him is happy, he tells himself that's happiness. ]

But my opinion and yours hold the same weight. Who knows which is right... It doesn't matter.

[ Kido motions for Toki to follow her, back up the stairs; not that she cares if he walks away after, but she needs him to at least not stay down here. ]

No, it doesn't.

[It probably never did. He's been faking happiness so long too, and then he couldn't anymore. He needs that back, and no one will worry. If you fake it, and people think you're happy, it still counts. For now, he waves Kido off.

Toki's not leaving the basement. It's his new home. He'll be out of the way down here. He won't disturb people and he can't talk about "impending doom" if there's no one to talk to but himself.

There's nothing to go back up the stairs for.]

[ ...There is absolutely something to go back up the stairs for?? ]

Hey, Toki.

[ Instead of leaving, Kido just motions again. ]

What are you doing? Come on, let's go.

I'm fine here.

[He turns away from her to curl up on the floor; an obvious sign he's not going anywhere and she should leave. He runs one finger over the floor, tracing an invisible eye. There's not enough dust to make it show up.]

[ No??? When is Toki fine, anywhere, ever. Kido isn't strong enough to haul Toki up off the floor like Yuya or somebody else would be able to do, so she just crouches in front of him again and tries to catch his eye. ]

Somebody's going to accidentally step on you if you lie there. Wasn't there something you had to do, before you ran into me?

[ Like... go home. And put on a shirt. ]

I don't remember what it was.

[The possibility of being stepped on doesn't seem to bother him.]

[ Ffff........ ]

Do you think it was maybe... going home and putting on a shirt?

[ Even if that wasn't the original plan, maybe she can plant that idea in Toki's head, it's a good idea. ]

I don't think so. I'm not cold. It wasn't that.

[If he's been drawing on himself, he probably has a marker somewhere. He doesn't get up, but checks his pockets for it. Marker found, he's just going to draw on the wall with that instead of his finger. So much better.]

[ It's so tempting to reach into her pockets and pull out a thermos half filled with month old milkshake and dump it over Toki, effectively forcing him to get up and wash off the marker and change into a clean pair of clothes. That would have been the very chaotic but direct and effective Kano approach to this problem.

Being not-Kano sure is hard. ]

...Why do you keep drawing those? Or is it different each time?

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