plague upon the world (it's these two gremlins)

[suddenlybees]

WHO: Ellie, Kano, and you~
WHERE: Lumière dorms, around campus
WHEN: first week of school
WHAT: crickets!!!
WARNINGS: crickets... nothing else foreseen, but will edit if necessary!
NOTES: this is a joint post with Ellie and Kano, so you might be tagged back by either of them or both, please let us know if you have a preference!

i. Lumière Dormitory lobby
[ Twenty centimeters isn't a lot. The length of the box's edge just barely exceeds the length of Kano's palm as he carries his package into the dorms, giving it a little shake next to his ear but unable to hear anything inside. The box is pretty light, too... maybe they got scammed?

The only way to find out is to open the box, and Ellie's right there to stab her switchblade into the top of the box and pull down sharply to cut open the box—-

Do you know how many crickets fit inside a 20x20x20 cm box? Originally, around 500.

Now, there's only a couple dozen left, and dwindling every passing second the two of them stare at the plague they've unleashed upon the dorm. ]

ii. cricket wrangling, inside and around the dorm
[ You learn to stop screaming real quick when every time you open your mouth, you find a cricket or two inside, so it's masks on and sleeves pushed up like this isn't shady at all, haha, this isn't their fault. Anyways, stand there, right there, and DON'T. MOVE. Just stay still while the two of them... well, it's no butterfly net, but they've got fly swatters and two socks full of crickets that they can tie off when they're full and— ]

I SAID DON'T MOVE!!

[ If you get smacked in the face, you've already gotten fair warning, now take off your socks and make yourself useful. ]

iii. on the waaaaay other side of campus
[ They pretend they have nothing to do with the fact that an exterminator is being called to exorcise the dorms. They have nothing to do with that? They've been here the entire time, camped out in front of one of the buildings with their little stall— a table dragged out from somewhere, two folding chairs, a sign leaning against the front of the table reading:

€1 EACH
IF YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT
IF IT TOUCHES YOU, YOU BUY IT
NO REFUNDS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO THE 7 SEVENS

[ and a megaphone that's a mistake to allow in Kano's hands as he shouts right into it. ]

Crepes! Get your crepes here~! Chocolate clusters and liquid luck! There's a surprise in every bite! Purchase one of each and receive a complimentary ~*~*mystery box*~*~! What a deal! Don't pass this chance up!!

[ The ~*~*~mystery boxes*~*~ are packed up nice and neat on one end of the table, with the rest of it being a spread of little chocolate drops on a tray (they twitch once in a while, but ignore that), several dozen bottles of something dark brown (the liquid sloshes around once in a while, but ignore that), and Ellie currently taking her turn at working the crepe station, once in a while sprinkling in some of the """secret ingredient""" (some of which might escape and leap onto your face and chirp, but iGNORE THAT) ]

wc.
[ For anything else, ping northpaws or birdseed! ]

Comments

[suddenlybees]

[ Oh... hm... Kano doesn't take a single step closer, because he's not getting in between crickets and their food, lest his hands be mistaken as a meal. ]

I'm sure we can salvage it...

[ They haven't eaten all the way to the core...? Maybe they can cut off the top layer or something. ]

Do you have icing laying around somewhere? Hand it to me?

[playitagain]

I-It's covered in bugs! I don't think it's safe to eat!

[But... well, she's curious about what Kano has in mind. So, wordlessly, she reaches into a compartment over her bed. It's a makeshift pantry.

And, sure enough, she pulls out a tub of icing safe to keep at room temperature.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Bugs are edible! Frogs eat them all the time, and lizards and cats and all sorts of creatures.

...it's a weak argument and he knows it, so he just takes the icing and starts squeezing it on top of the banana bread, a super thick layer on top of all the crickets until it's too thick to see them anymore.

...

He then transfers the loaf onto a plate and covers it. ]

Can I have this?

[playitagain]

...

[Nana stares. She blinks. Something broke in Nana. She doesn't know how to answer this.]

...But why?

It's... it's got bugs...

[suddenlybees]

Yeah, exactly! It's also got banana bread~ I can't let it go to waste, can I?

[playitagain]

But...

...the bugs ruined it?

[suddenlybees]

The bugs make it better~

[ this is my favorite icon and I'm glad every time i get to use it ]

[playitagain]

[omg that icon]

...wh-why? Protein?

[suddenlybees]

That's right~! They're super nutritious, and the shells add an extra crunch!

[playitagain]

But--but Kano-san, that doesn't--

Those don't go with bananas!

[Nana's brain breaks a little. Something can't??]

[suddenlybees]

Have you ever tried it? I don't think you should dismiss it until you try it?

[ He picks up a knife; he'll even cut up a slice for her to try, look how good it is and change your mind. ]

Just think of it like walnuts~ Both of them have shells~

[playitagain]

But--but!!

[She stumbles, holding a hand to her chest.]

The banana bread... shouldn't... have a crunchy shell...

[suddenlybees]

...Is it really that important to you? To not have cricket shells in your bread...

[playitagain]

...well, it's... bugs are gross.

[She sighs, shoulders slumping with defeat.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Oh. He was going to squish the bugs and let the guts soak into the bread and throw out the shells, but when Nana says that, he just sort of stops. ]

...Yeah, they are gross, huh?! I want to eat Nana-chan's banana bread without any bugs in it!!

[playitagain]

[Nana makes the biggest face for a moment, before she sighs, and tilts her head.

She perks up at that.]

Really? Well... I need to bake some more.

[suddenlybees]

I'll stand guard~ Nothing shall pass by me while I'm here, so bake without worry!!

[ hm... ]

...Just give me five minutes! I'll be right back!!

[playitagain]

I can--

[He needs her to wait?]

...wait for a moment?

[suddenlybees]

[ Five minutes!!!

Except, he takes longer than five minutes. It's a little more like ten minutes when he comes back, announced by the godawful sound of tearing packaging tape that he uses to seal off the doorway to the kitchen— this is his brilliant plan, apparently, just sealing them in and the bulk of the crickets outside, and they'd get stuck to the tape if they try to come in.

...Double-sided tape also gets taped to the fridge, the edges of the countertop, random places on the walls... ]

This should catch most of them~ And all the rest we'll just swat out of the air while we defend the bread!

[playitagain]

[Nana... stares at the packing tape, blinking without total comprehension as he makes some combination flytrap/makeshift sealant.

She blinks a couple of times.]

...That seems like it should work!

[SHE HAS NO IDEA]

I probably won't have a hand free to help with the fly swatting, though.

[suddenlybees]

[ It sure does seem like it, even if it might be different in practice, as is usually the case for these sorts of grand schemes are meant to be more of a joke than an actual solution. It doesn't matter. He'll make it work. ]

No problem~ I'll just double-wield the flyswatters, I'll take care of it!

[ His off-hand will be entirely useless with this sort of thing, but it's worth a try. ]

Get out everything that you'll need, and I'll defend this space with my life!

[playitagain]

[Nana blinks at him, and then she lifts her hand up to cover her mouth. She giggles into it, before she nods.]

I've got faith in you.

[She starts getting out things.

Kano might quickly realize: Nana Daiba is SUPER. SERIOUS. about her baking. She has measuring cups, flour, chopped up bananas, and ingredients in plastic sealed containers.

Except she yelps and jumps when a cricket comes at her. This might be a minigame.]

[suddenlybees]

[ This minigame is an extra hard level, because it's impossible for Kano to keep all the crickets away by himself, even after thinking of wrapping his flyswatters in tape too so that the ones he bats away won't jump right back. ]

Hey, hanging in there? There's no way you can go faster?? You're a master baker! You should be able to eyeball the ingredients!!

[playitagain]

[Nana is mixing -- a little faster than usual -- but she pauses when Kano asks, to look over her shoulder.]

W-Weeeeeell...

[She smiles sheepishly.]

...Grinding up the bananas kind of takes a bit..

[suddenlybees]

[ This is why you use overly ripe bananas that are already getting squishy... ]

Aren't chunks okay? Chunky banana bread is alright too!!