plague upon the world (it's these two gremlins)

[suddenlybees]

WHO: Ellie, Kano, and you~
WHERE: Lumière dorms, around campus
WHEN: first week of school
WHAT: crickets!!!
WARNINGS: crickets... nothing else foreseen, but will edit if necessary!
NOTES: this is a joint post with Ellie and Kano, so you might be tagged back by either of them or both, please let us know if you have a preference!

i. Lumière Dormitory lobby
[ Twenty centimeters isn't a lot. The length of the box's edge just barely exceeds the length of Kano's palm as he carries his package into the dorms, giving it a little shake next to his ear but unable to hear anything inside. The box is pretty light, too... maybe they got scammed?

The only way to find out is to open the box, and Ellie's right there to stab her switchblade into the top of the box and pull down sharply to cut open the box—-

Do you know how many crickets fit inside a 20x20x20 cm box? Originally, around 500.

Now, there's only a couple dozen left, and dwindling every passing second the two of them stare at the plague they've unleashed upon the dorm. ]

ii. cricket wrangling, inside and around the dorm
[ You learn to stop screaming real quick when every time you open your mouth, you find a cricket or two inside, so it's masks on and sleeves pushed up like this isn't shady at all, haha, this isn't their fault. Anyways, stand there, right there, and DON'T. MOVE. Just stay still while the two of them... well, it's no butterfly net, but they've got fly swatters and two socks full of crickets that they can tie off when they're full and— ]

I SAID DON'T MOVE!!

[ If you get smacked in the face, you've already gotten fair warning, now take off your socks and make yourself useful. ]

iii. on the waaaaay other side of campus
[ They pretend they have nothing to do with the fact that an exterminator is being called to exorcise the dorms. They have nothing to do with that? They've been here the entire time, camped out in front of one of the buildings with their little stall— a table dragged out from somewhere, two folding chairs, a sign leaning against the front of the table reading:

€1 EACH
IF YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT
IF IT TOUCHES YOU, YOU BUY IT
NO REFUNDS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO THE 7 SEVENS

[ and a megaphone that's a mistake to allow in Kano's hands as he shouts right into it. ]

Crepes! Get your crepes here~! Chocolate clusters and liquid luck! There's a surprise in every bite! Purchase one of each and receive a complimentary ~*~*mystery box*~*~! What a deal! Don't pass this chance up!!

[ The ~*~*~mystery boxes*~*~ are packed up nice and neat on one end of the table, with the rest of it being a spread of little chocolate drops on a tray (they twitch once in a while, but ignore that), several dozen bottles of something dark brown (the liquid sloshes around once in a while, but ignore that), and Ellie currently taking her turn at working the crepe station, once in a while sprinkling in some of the """secret ingredient""" (some of which might escape and leap onto your face and chirp, but iGNORE THAT) ]

wc.
[ For anything else, ping northpaws or birdseed! ]

Comments

[deuteranope]

[...Hm. That's a much better tone than the fake, overly enthusiastic one.]

You guys were kids together, right? You and Minako?

[That photo, and all...]

[suddenlybees]

Mm?

[ Minako being mentioned takes him aback, and he's immediately hesitant about where this conversation might be going, so he's going to play dumb. ]

Well, yeah, we're all around the same age. Most people in our class are all kids together, aren't they?

[deuteranope]

[Shakes his head...]

All right, fine.

[He remembers years where he was overly defensive surrounding his relationship with Mama. Soooo many fights over innocent questions, as well as dumbass jokes. He's not going to push when he gets the feeling it's one of the few things this guy actually holds dear -- family tends to be like that.]

Wanna check on the fucking trap?

[suddenlybees]

[ Family sure is stupid like that. He'd sing praises about the two that he'd grown up with, but it has to be unprovoked or else questions feel like an interrogation and he does Not like interrogations. It's the same as his dislike for bugs and his dislike for traps, scrambling up and out of the way so he can stand behind Maverick and more or less nudge him forward. ]

You do the honors~

[deuteranope]

[Ugh. Skittery fellow. But Maverick will crouch to carefully scoop up the cricket with the covering sheet of paper, folding it up around the bug but not squishing it, before tossing it in the direction of the trash. Time...for the real cricket troubles.

Like with his initial entrance, he remains on the steps, but he has to grimace whenever he sees something small hopping past him. Go for the smushed banana, jerks!!! At least it looks like a good number of them have...]

Ugh. Fucking disgusting.

[suddenlybees]

Haha, they look all hyped up from the sugar~

[ This might not be a laughing matter, but... he laughs anyways, grossed out and delighted in equal measures, and still remaining behind Maverick like he's a shield. He tries to peer around once they get close enough, and it does look like most of the crickets have gone for the sheet and are feasting, but more than one jumps away at their approach and maybe it's just his imagination but it seems to him like they're bouncier than usual, superpowered by food after being shut up in a cardboard box for a day or however long shipping took.

But also... a sheet filled with crickets is gross... Kano pats Maverick on the shoulder. ]

Good luck.

[deuteranope]

Think you mean hopped up...

[He sounds dead inside, at least until he looks over his shoulder and snaps at Kano.]

Nope, no fucking way you're wriggling your way outta this part. It'll be faster if we're each handling a side, meaning way less of 'em get the fuck out.

[suddenlybees]

Was that a pun?! You made a pun!! I'm so proud of you!

[ He's absolutely Delighted, clapping his hands together and really wanting that to be in the end of it, but Maverick is right in that there's no way he can do it on his own. ]

Okay, okay~ Just for that, I'll help you out! This is your reward~

[ Sucks, but Kano will just have to grit his teeth and tough it out, taking reluctant steps towards the sheet but ultimately positioning himself towards the side with less crickets. Just sort of... pinching the very very edge of the sheet and giving it the lightest of shakes to encourage the crickets to hop over to Maverick's side instead. ]

[deuteranope]

[HEY]

Fucking cut it out!

[That's not the object of this trap!!]

Fold in like this, to cut off any exit. Fuck.

[Watch and learn, cricket. And then use that knowledge immediately, because otherwise that half of the sheet is going to have escaped crickets and Maverick is juuuust about done with this nonsense. He's so close to his own freedom...]

[suddenlybees]

[ It's gross, though!! He can feel the sheet move with the crickets and it's just so gross... Maverick will have to deal with Kano's reluctant lifting up the sheet and not moving an inch after that and Maverick being the one to match the edges to one another and once more to wrap up the cricket-banana-spit bundle.

Once that's done, he immediately lets go. Maverick can carry it. ]

[deuteranope]

[SCREAM WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS swearing all the while, Maverick secures it in his arms as best he can, ensuring it folds in on itself enough that the ends are covered.]

Okay, okay, shitting christ, where the fuck's it going?

[suddenlybees]

[ BECAUSE MAVERICK ALLOWS HIM TO BE LIKE THIS... He's grateful for it, honestly, so he tries to think of a good, actually doable plan. ]

Hm~ Well... If we can find a big enough box somewhere to seal it up in, that'd be grand! We can also grab some duct tape and tape the whole thing up as is? I'll take if off your hands after!

[ Those crickets can still be salvaged and stuffed into crepes... Yum, yum, banana crepes. ]

[deuteranope]

[one day...one day the line's gonna be so over crossed that Mav's softness isn't going to be able to save Kano.]

Then move your fucking ass and find me this shit!

[suddenlybees]

[ How has the line not been crossed on day one ]

Right, right! Just hang on tight! Be right back!!!

[ This is how """friendship""" is going to be with Kano... just Maverick standing in the hall with a handful of cricket infested fabric, while Kano hecks off to who knows where. ]

[deuteranope]

[If he legitimately leaves him there for too long, Maverick will not hesitate to try and toss the bundle in Kano's room, or toss it from the stairs to the lobby again if that's locked.]

[suddenlybees]

[ It takes time to find proper packaging material!!! He ends up taking a leaf out of Ekkehardt's book and following his advice- it's still so early in the term that people haven't tossed out all their cardboard boxes from moving day, so he nabs one of those to haul back over, as well as three rolls of duck tape and kitchen knife. ]

Here, here~ I'm back, just like I promised! Toss 'em in here!

[deuteranope]

[.................]

The fuck you need a knife for?

[but yes, let him put this fucking cricket sheet in the damn box he's getting the heebiejeebies.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Kano makes a point not to touch the sheets, but once it's inside the box, he closes up the flaps and seals it up with ten layers of tape. ]

Breathing holes.

[ He's not a monster. These crickets need to be alive- only the freshest ingredients for their crepes. ]

[deuteranope]

[Ten layers is a proper amount. Maverick nods to show his approval.]

Very small holes or slits that little crickets can't get out of.

[suddenlybees]

Right, right, I got it~

[ How small is a little small... He's not the stabby one in the family and had never really handled a knife, so he's going inverse grip and plunges the knife into the box all the way up to the grip. The cut is about an inch long, eyeballing the length of the blade, but still just a slit. ]

Easy, right? And then we just gotta wiggle it a little to open up the hole~

[deuteranope]

[He resists the urge to facepalm... Definitely bigger than he would have liked, but yeah, just a -- ]

Don't you fucking dare. Leave it like that, just fucking make other ones.

[suddenlybees]

[ Kano pulls the knife out and plunges it a few inches away, but with his other hand just sort of pokes at the first one, with the way it more or less seals itself up again when the blade is removed. ]

You're the bug expert- do you really think that lets enough air in? Don't make a murderer out of me!

[deuteranope]

[He's not a bug expert...and yet, he knows this.]

Honestly they probably didn't even need the fucking breathing hole unless you were planning on keeping them in there forever. If they die, it'd be more to do with being in a much smaller box with 499 other crickets before all this fucking shit.

[suddenlybees]

Hm~

[ He's not entirely convinced, but he refocuses on stabbing the box full of holes, making up for the width of the slits by the sheer number of them if Maverick doesn't but a stop to that prematurely. ]

That's should do it~ We were able to salvage so many! Thank god~

[deuteranope]

[If they're thin enough slits, it's good with him. Stab to your heart's content.]

"God" is a bit fucking extreme for a nickname for me, but you're fucking welcome. Now leave me out of your buggy business in the future, all right?