plague upon the world (it's these two gremlins)

[suddenlybees]

WHO: Ellie, Kano, and you~
WHERE: Lumière dorms, around campus
WHEN: first week of school
WHAT: crickets!!!
WARNINGS: crickets... nothing else foreseen, but will edit if necessary!
NOTES: this is a joint post with Ellie and Kano, so you might be tagged back by either of them or both, please let us know if you have a preference!

i. Lumière Dormitory lobby
[ Twenty centimeters isn't a lot. The length of the box's edge just barely exceeds the length of Kano's palm as he carries his package into the dorms, giving it a little shake next to his ear but unable to hear anything inside. The box is pretty light, too... maybe they got scammed?

The only way to find out is to open the box, and Ellie's right there to stab her switchblade into the top of the box and pull down sharply to cut open the box—-

Do you know how many crickets fit inside a 20x20x20 cm box? Originally, around 500.

Now, there's only a couple dozen left, and dwindling every passing second the two of them stare at the plague they've unleashed upon the dorm. ]

ii. cricket wrangling, inside and around the dorm
[ You learn to stop screaming real quick when every time you open your mouth, you find a cricket or two inside, so it's masks on and sleeves pushed up like this isn't shady at all, haha, this isn't their fault. Anyways, stand there, right there, and DON'T. MOVE. Just stay still while the two of them... well, it's no butterfly net, but they've got fly swatters and two socks full of crickets that they can tie off when they're full and— ]

I SAID DON'T MOVE!!

[ If you get smacked in the face, you've already gotten fair warning, now take off your socks and make yourself useful. ]

iii. on the waaaaay other side of campus
[ They pretend they have nothing to do with the fact that an exterminator is being called to exorcise the dorms. They have nothing to do with that? They've been here the entire time, camped out in front of one of the buildings with their little stall— a table dragged out from somewhere, two folding chairs, a sign leaning against the front of the table reading:

€1 EACH
IF YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT
IF IT TOUCHES YOU, YOU BUY IT
NO REFUNDS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO THE 7 SEVENS

[ and a megaphone that's a mistake to allow in Kano's hands as he shouts right into it. ]

Crepes! Get your crepes here~! Chocolate clusters and liquid luck! There's a surprise in every bite! Purchase one of each and receive a complimentary ~*~*mystery box*~*~! What a deal! Don't pass this chance up!!

[ The ~*~*~mystery boxes*~*~ are packed up nice and neat on one end of the table, with the rest of it being a spread of little chocolate drops on a tray (they twitch once in a while, but ignore that), several dozen bottles of something dark brown (the liquid sloshes around once in a while, but ignore that), and Ellie currently taking her turn at working the crepe station, once in a while sprinkling in some of the """secret ingredient""" (some of which might escape and leap onto your face and chirp, but iGNORE THAT) ]

wc.
[ For anything else, ping northpaws or birdseed! ]

Comments

[suddenlybees]

What, you're kidding!! You've made other friends here besides me?! I didn't think it'd be possible! Why don'tcha call Junior and let's all hang out right now!

[ He'll brave having to read educational books if that means he gets to meet Maverick's friends, he's decided, always interested in knowing what friends of friends are like. ]

[deuteranope]

[That's fair. In fact, Mav wasn't even sure he did have any friends, because Kano definitely didn't count, with how insincere he was in everything... Peter was okay.]

She's hanging with, uh, a parent, I think, much as I fucking think she'd fucking love to round up bugs. You'll see her at book club.

[Maybe... And he'll lean into the joke so he doesn't think about how depressing that is.]

...Hey. When we wrap up those fuckers downstairs, where are they gonna...go?

[suddenlybees]

[ +1 maybe friend, and a cat, that is sort of depressing. Kano can't really boast any greater numbers, though, especially when his number of friends only account for knowing somebody for years and years and years. ]

Visiting family, huh? How nice~ As for the crickets, Ekkehardt says there's a fishtank somewhere that might hold 'em, so I'll find that and dump 'em in there!

[ Sheets, crickets and all. He'll figure out the next step later. ]

[deuteranope]

[...hm]

Just like a random fucking fishtank?

[Why...is it there...]

[suddenlybees]

Yep! I mean, we'll probably have to find somewhere to keep the fish in the meantime, but fish can't just up and walk away, so this takes priority!

[ There's a toilet for every other bedroom, so finding a temporary home for fish won't be a problem. ]

[deuteranope]

Wait -- okay.

[He pinches the bridge of his nose a second again before gesturing wide so Kano can really appreciate his incredulity.]

There are fish in the fucking fishtank you want to stick these goddamn crickets in?

[suddenlybees]

I don't know yet! I don't know where it is, so I've never actually seen it, you see? But according to Ekkehardt, there's an aquarium.

[ Ekkehardt had also given the more practical suggestion of empty moving boxes, but that's no place for crickets to live, at least they can see the sun and the sky in a glass tank. ]

[deuteranope]

[They're being slathered in chocolate and consumed later, what does it really matter?

He opens his mouth to complain again before realizing...] Honestly, I should just fucking be glad there's any kind of thinking ahead going on in that weird fucking brain of yours. You're something else.

[Things are peaceful. He's nice and comfortable here, chatting with Kano and relaxing, and then...

Breet, breet.

There, from under his door, is a visitor from the animal kingdom, but unlike the usual one Mav usually gets, and it brings up a very different range of emotions within him. It can be summed up as there's a fucking cricket in his fucking room, Kano should probably fucking move because Maverick is launching himself over to the fucking desk to get the fucking rubbing alcohol again.]

[suddenlybees]

[ he wants to give his crickets the best life they can before drowning and getting fried, that's why it matters. Humane treatment of crickets or something, and dousing them in alcohol isn't the way!! ]

Hey--

[ he scrambles off just in time to not be bowled over, but he takes Maverick's erratic movements as fear, not murderous intent. ]

It's alright, see!? It's a little friend, who's come to say hi!

[deuteranope]

Yeah, well, say hello to my little friend.

[accent and all, even if he's mad about it. So sad this isn't a spray bottle, that would have been too convenient. At least there's a notebook there these days that he can tear a sheet out of and douse. He can smother this cricket, and then still have it over there to deter any more from coming! Perfect plan.]

Ugh, this is the fucking worst -- I can't believe you actually fucking manufactured a pest problem, except oh right, I fucking can because you're you and this is literally all I've fucking seen from you, is this shit.

[suddenlybees]

[ oof, he walked right into that one

Cricket guts all over the floor isn't very pleasant, so he thinks he can trust Maverick not to simply squish the thing with the paper; he sits tight beside the desk watching the other boy work, interested in seeing what a drunk cricket looks like. ]

I can't be anybody else but me, can I? But that's why I said~ We gotta hang out more, or how are you supposed to know I'm always like this? The sample size is too small, mister science guy!

[deuteranope]

[He drops the heavy, soaked paper over over the cricket, which tries to jump free but just ends up bonking its head against the sheet instead.]

-- you do know I'm not a science guy, right? Some reason no one fucking wanted me playing with the bunsen burners.

[suddenlybees]

You like trees and bugs, so you're a science guy. This counts too~

[ Poor little thing under the paper. Kano crouches down and stares at it, but doesn't interfere or help or anything, as if this doesn't even involve him. ]

But it's really too bad about the bunsen burners! They're very fun! You can fashion a handle onto one of them, and you can pretend you're waving around a little flamethrower!

[ Nobody allowed him around bunsen burners either. ]

[deuteranope]

I don't like trees and bugs?

[exhibit a: cricket murder. Mav watches him out of the corner of his eye, a part of his gut twisting uncomfortably with the curiosity he's showing. Not that he can blame him. Curious stuff was curious... The world was as fascinating as it was a shitshow. He knows that. Still doesn't feel good.]

Or I can just get hairspray and a lighter, if I want a flamethrower.

[suddenlybees]

[ He likes them enough to know about them, so that counts in Kano's book.

It doesn't take a long time for the cricket to stop moving underneath the paper, but still Kano doesn't look up or stand or anything, just sort of tilts his head towards Maverick's direction without looking at him. ]

Do you have hairspray and a lighter?

[deuteranope]

[Still watching him out of the corner of his eye...]

I've got a lighter and rubbing alcohol.

[suddenlybees]

[ He's not going to do anything!! Not yet. ]

Oh, is that so? Bring them here, bring them here~

[deuteranope]

[He gently shakes the bottle of rubbing alcohol, now that he's got the cap back on it, and with his keen eyes Kano will probably notice the slightly twitch Maverick makes towards his pocket before he stops himself. Safe to assume his lighter is there.]

Yeah right, that sounds real fucking safe with you around. Why not just toss this at fireball, and be done with it? Either she'll explode, or she'll explode.

[suddenlybees]

[ Sticky fingers is more Ellie's area of expertise than his own, but Kano's eyes follow Maverick's fingers and he hops up onto his feet, moving out of the way because he has absolutely no intention of picking up the soggy paper or the cricket corpse underneath it, that's Maverick's job. ]

Who's fireball? One of your friends? ...Is she a cat??

[deuteranope]

[The corpse will remain there for a while yet. Maverick's not taking any chances.]

One of your friends. Little shrimp you room, Ellie, didn't like being called pintsize.

[suddenlybees]

[ Is he going to have to step on it before Maverick picks it up? He wants to leave this room sometime today, please. ]

pft- Does she really hate it? That's good information to have! I would've just kept calling her pintsize~ You're such a kind boy, aren'tcha, Mav?

[deuteranope]

[Maverick doesn't want to leave the room, so he's content with putting it off.]

Tch, yeah fucking right. Just hard to argue when a fireball's a fireball.

[suddenlybees]

Did she stab you?

[ Like... fireball is a personality thing and she didn't set something of Maverick's on fire, right? Stabbing is believable. That's an Ellie thing to do. ]

[deuteranope]

What the fuck, why would I let her stab me?

[He's not gonna get stabbed!!! Good to know she was the stubby type, too, though.]

Nah, but she sorta stole my phone and she's prone to blowing the fuck up, anyone can fucking see that much.

[suddenlybees]

Sometimes people don't get the choice of being stabbed or not! But yeah, huh. She's just like that.

[ He says it with a smile and a nod, and possibly the most fondness in his voice that he's shown so far. His stabby explodey baby sister. ]