plague upon the world (it's these two gremlins)

[suddenlybees]

WHO: Ellie, Kano, and you~
WHERE: Lumière dorms, around campus
WHEN: first week of school
WHAT: crickets!!!
WARNINGS: crickets... nothing else foreseen, but will edit if necessary!
NOTES: this is a joint post with Ellie and Kano, so you might be tagged back by either of them or both, please let us know if you have a preference!

i. Lumière Dormitory lobby
[ Twenty centimeters isn't a lot. The length of the box's edge just barely exceeds the length of Kano's palm as he carries his package into the dorms, giving it a little shake next to his ear but unable to hear anything inside. The box is pretty light, too... maybe they got scammed?

The only way to find out is to open the box, and Ellie's right there to stab her switchblade into the top of the box and pull down sharply to cut open the box—-

Do you know how many crickets fit inside a 20x20x20 cm box? Originally, around 500.

Now, there's only a couple dozen left, and dwindling every passing second the two of them stare at the plague they've unleashed upon the dorm. ]

ii. cricket wrangling, inside and around the dorm
[ You learn to stop screaming real quick when every time you open your mouth, you find a cricket or two inside, so it's masks on and sleeves pushed up like this isn't shady at all, haha, this isn't their fault. Anyways, stand there, right there, and DON'T. MOVE. Just stay still while the two of them... well, it's no butterfly net, but they've got fly swatters and two socks full of crickets that they can tie off when they're full and— ]

I SAID DON'T MOVE!!

[ If you get smacked in the face, you've already gotten fair warning, now take off your socks and make yourself useful. ]

iii. on the waaaaay other side of campus
[ They pretend they have nothing to do with the fact that an exterminator is being called to exorcise the dorms. They have nothing to do with that? They've been here the entire time, camped out in front of one of the buildings with their little stall— a table dragged out from somewhere, two folding chairs, a sign leaning against the front of the table reading:

€1 EACH
IF YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT
IF IT TOUCHES YOU, YOU BUY IT
NO REFUNDS
ALL PROCEEDS GO TO THE 7 SEVENS

[ and a megaphone that's a mistake to allow in Kano's hands as he shouts right into it. ]

Crepes! Get your crepes here~! Chocolate clusters and liquid luck! There's a surprise in every bite! Purchase one of each and receive a complimentary ~*~*mystery box*~*~! What a deal! Don't pass this chance up!!

[ The ~*~*~mystery boxes*~*~ are packed up nice and neat on one end of the table, with the rest of it being a spread of little chocolate drops on a tray (they twitch once in a while, but ignore that), several dozen bottles of something dark brown (the liquid sloshes around once in a while, but ignore that), and Ellie currently taking her turn at working the crepe station, once in a while sprinkling in some of the """secret ingredient""" (some of which might escape and leap onto your face and chirp, but iGNORE THAT) ]

wc.
[ For anything else, ping northpaws or birdseed! ]

Comments

[suddenlybees]

Hey—-

[ What if he just. Tries to duck around Maverick so he can block the exit, he will try to squeeze himself beside him if he has to. ]

Ellie's a troublemaker but she's not a dumbass! The crickets were an honest mistake! You can't tell me you've never unleashed five hundred crickets upon a room!!

[deuteranope]

[Ack! He's quick, but the kid's quicker, apparently. Must be losing his touch in his old age. He knows he's still got a shot at this exit, though, not like when the icebreaker door was locked, so he doesn't shy away from the idea of physically pushing past Kano using hands, elbows, shoulders, whatever. Quit trying to shut him in places...]

Let's see... Nope, never did. Wow, holy fuck, look at that, I fucking can tell you!

[suddenlybees]

You're no fun! Live a little and unleash some crickets sometime!!

[ Kano grew up with two other gremlins so he knows how to be a gremlin, which is to say, Maverick can't elbow him out of the way if Kano wraps his arms around him, trying to pin his arms to his side and keep him from being able to shake him off. You can't run if you can't move!! ]

[deuteranope]

[One arm -- the arm closest to Kano -- down, but getting in his fair share of scraps and living up to his weasel nickname makes Maverick able to keep the other one free. He also knows his legs are way stronger than these twigs he's got for arms, so while he holds on to brace himself, he's going to try and drag Kano along with him. Shame he's made more for defense and evasion than these muscle-based tasks.]

Or! I could fucking not do that and live happily ever fucking after! Because why the fuck would I voluntarily surround myself with fucking crickets? Wow! Blowing my own fucking mind here!

[suddenlybees]

[ Oh, heck, even Minako or Ellie wouldn't drag him around like this, and he never dared try with anybody else. But as long as he's being a hindrance, he's going to cling to Maverick's arm and torso as long as he can. ]

Why don't you like crickets? Did you know, they breathe through their legs? And- uh... They have five eyes!! Amazing, aren't they?! Let's go over there and have a closer look at them...!

[deuteranope]

Insects breathe through spiracles, you fuck!

[Why are you like this...! Ahh, freedom is so close, but so far away...]

[suddenlybees]

What the fuck's a spiracle?! Are you making up words again?! I won't fall for it!!

[deuteranope]

Read a fucking book!

[Actually, this is dumb, and he stops fighting to move forward so he can catch his breath.]

I don't have anything to catch them or squash them unless you fucking let me fucking go to my fucking room.

[suddenlybees]

Who owns dictionaries anymore?!

[ What's a library!! also, why would Maverick even need to know that word, why is he so SMART and not-rich and weird.

Kano huffs, but straightens up so he's not just dead weight dragging Maverick down; he's still holding onto him, but in that awkward sort of way that suggests he plans to walk with him up three sets of stairs. ]

Alright, alright, let's go.

[deuteranope]

[oh my god]

Just hold my fucking hand?!

[If he's going to insist on clinging to him, at least leave plenty of mobility!!! His pinned arm can move enough to give the weakest slaps with his fingers to further make his point. Either way, up the stairs they go.

Also he needed to know about spiracles because he needed to know about why bugs drown so dang easily. He was weird at fourteen.]

Ughh, fuck. I can dump out a box, but getting them in there without letting any of the other escape would be tough. Seriously, what the fuck were you fucking thinking?

[suddenlybees]

[ He can't remember the last time he held anybody's hand; it's a bit of a sad realization, but he masks it with laughter, taking Maverick's proffered hand and lacing their fingers, swinging their arms, adds a little spring to his step— he won't ever get this opportunity again, so he's got to go the whole nine yards. ]

Haha~ Bold of you to assume we were thinking~!

[ Because nobody would believe it was unforeseen circumstances... an honest mistake... ]

Do you have anything sticky in your room we can use? Glue or tape or gum?

[deuteranope]

[What an irritating brat...but at least Maverick gets to move, now.]

Maybe try saying it without looking like a fucking asshole and that excuse with fucking grow wings and fly.

[You made your troublemaker bed, now lie in it!!!]

Gum, no.

[Glue, though...okay, also no. Hm. Out of the school box, into to personal care box.]

You don't, like, need five fucking hundred living crickets for real, do you? I got rubbing alcohol, but that'll fuck 'em up.

[suddenlybees]

Sorry~ This is just how my face is~ I can't say anything without looking like a fucking asshole~!

[ He might be one of the only people in the school who can change his face, but does he use it to look nice and pleasant? no way.

With how weirdly healthy Maverick eats, Kano'd suspected gum is off the list, but he hoped glue and tape weren't in similarly short supply. He has rubbing alcohol, though... that'd be something useful Kano would want later, if he can "borrow" some. ]

We~ll, they're purchasable in sizes of a hundred, two-fifty, and five hundred... Lots of thought went into the choice, you know? Five hundred was the most economical! All this learnin' at school's paying off after all, isn't that right?

[ He can count the number of days he's actually gone to school on one hand, but look how smart this decision was! Be proud of him, Mav. Look at that math. ]

Aah, but I can't compare to your smarts, in the end! Tell me- I bet you can figure it out! What's a way to trap five hundred crickets without killing any of them?

[deuteranope]

[That's so dumb................Kano, why.]

Uh huh.

[Even if they could just kill, like...half. it would be so much better, but okay, he'll set the rubbing alcohol down on his desk for now and slip his free hand, assuming Kano is still clinging to him, under his hat to scratch at the side of his head. Mm... If he was going to insist on this route...]

There's no fucking way we can get all of them back. But...fuck, I guess we could fucking see if that weird girl has a banana in her room. They like fruit... Don't suppose we got a fucking bee fetishist around too that has a fucking gallon of honey we could dump out?

[suddenlybees]

[ They were having a nice time holding hands, why's he got to make it weird? :( Kano doesn't let go of Maverick's hand, but he does take the opportunity to free a finger and poke him on the side of the head. ]

Not with that attitude! But we have to do our best!! Nana-chan might cry if we steal her bananas, so I guess our only option is to find a bee fetishist!! You know, I was wanting to purchase bees, once, but they're a little harder to find than crickets...

[deuteranope]

[Making it weird and annoying the only way Mav can keep a handle on it. Let him cope. Also his head itched.]

You got weird fucking hobbies. Makes sense bees would be harder, though...

[Well.

...Well. He's going to cross back to his bed and start tugging at the top sheet to bring that with him.]

Okay, well I don't have fruit or honey. I, uh. I have a little cat kibble. That's the only non-lethal route my room fucking provides, if you really wanna be fucking stubborn about it.

[suddenlybees]

[ Kano trots off after him, until Maverick starts messing with the sheets and Kano lets him do what he means to do, letting go of his hands without stepping in to help. The only reason he lets go of Maverick's hands is to drop a hand on his shoulder and give it a sympathetic squeeze. ]

I'm so sorry to hear that... You're resorting to eating cat food... You said you weren't rich, but I didn't think you were that poor. I'll lend you some money.

[deuteranope]

[With a roll of his eyes, Mav turns and throws the sheet over Kano's head in return for his nonsense.]

Har-fucking-har. I have a fucking cat, dumbass. [Well, parttime.] Besides, haven't you noticed there's a black cat around here sometimes? Wanted something he could actually fucking eat and not die because of it until I can head into town.

[suddenlybees]

A black cat...? Mm~

[ He pretends to think about it, wrapping the sheet over his shoulders like a cloak and pulling it tight around his shoulders. Which would be more suspicious, saying he knows the cat or saying he doesn't? The former might become troublesome if Maverick tries to show him the cat, but that might also happen with the latter, so... ]

Maybe, maybe not!! [ vagueness is always on his side ]

People and pets have been moving out these past few years I've been here, so I can't keep track of them all! I must be getting old~ But I do know that cats like meat! Just steal a sandwich from lunch and set it aside for your kitty friend~

[deuteranope]

[The vagueness is the most suspicious!!!! But Kano is always suspicious in some manner, so that's also what makes sense. Getting old, though...what is he trying to say...]

I dunno. A sandwich that's been fucking sitting around all day? Go on, out, we gotta find fruity shit now.

[suddenlybees]

[ Does Maverick never eat day old sandwiches?? If he's worried about the meat spoiling, he can just wrap it and leave it on his windowsill and pack it in ice- It's not like Kano cares. He's not the one eating everything he's taking back from his midnight trysts. ]

Alright, alright~ I'm moving! [ He lets himself be directed out of the room, pulling the bedsheets along with him. ] Want to raid Nana-chan's room, or try our hand at the kitchen? Ah- we shouldn't expect a warm welcome in the kitchen though! It's pretty busy inside, last I checked~

[deuteranope]

[He eats what he eats. Not being an apocalypse boy in this universe let's him be a little bit more picky. But he'll think about it!!!]

Banana Jammer's room, then. This is already more fucking complicated than it needs to be.

[you Know she got at least one bananer in there.]

[suddenlybees]

[ Sounds like a plan! Banana Jammer's room also happens to be Minako's room, though, so Kano just... slips behind Maverick and crouches low as he nudges Maverick towards the door. ]

You go first.

[deuteranope]

[wuss...

But since girls live there and who knows what people do in the comfort of their own rooms, he does knock first, and loudly. Waits. Pushes door open... Hey sup, room. He's here, he's queer, he has no fear, GIVE HIM THAT BANANA.]

[suddenlybees]

[ So what if he's a wuss!! If Minako ever got on Maverick's case, he'll see how scary she can be.

But the door's open and nobody's roundhouse kicked Maverick in the face, so he feels a little safer stepping into the room after him. ]

Pardon the intrusion~

[ while he takes the opportunity to open drawers left and right, regardless of if there's bananas in plain sight. ]